Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Ringing in the New Year

It is now January 2nd. I am currently still working on recovering from our all night event with the youth the other night. I haven't done one of those for quite some time now, so it takes it's toll on you sometimes. But all in all it was a good night. I enjoyed myself, which of course is the least of my concerns, but it seemed like the kids enjoyed themselves aside from a few "I'm bored" comments here and there, not for a lack of trying.
It's always fun to just kick back and talk with teens, no agenda, just let conversation flow, share truth with them, and hopefully they'll gain something from it. This is something that I need to continually work on, cause I'm not the greatest at it. It's so easy to just talk about useless things, and not be deliberate about speaking truth. Not that I don't ever do it, but it's not the way it should be by any means. Of course, this comes easier with a more definite and determined relationship with God, which always requires work, and I've not really worked as hard as I could, if really anywhere near where I should.
As God continues to bring me through things that I couldn't make it through otherwise, I'm realizing how much more intentional I need to be in every aspect of life.
Here's some brutal honesty about me, but it's hard to hold yourself accountable, which is why we need other people. God never asked/told us to do it alone, to do life alone. Even though I don't have the life partner I am still hoping for, that doesn't mean I'm supposed to just sit back and isolate myself. Unfortunately I've done so on so many occasions and I'm seeing it happening again. I'm not entirely sure how to make that different. I know I can spend more time with people, but that doesn't mean that I'm not still isolating myself.
It's like I don't let people in where I need them most and I'm recognizing now that I've been trying on my own, without other people to help me and without God in the driver's seat.
So, here's the question of the day, the one that's on my mind the most at the moment...How/why does it keep happening that way? Why do I let that happen? Why do we as people let it happen? I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who's been here, and if I am then I'm somehow missed out on something.
Do I hear from God? Yeah, I still do, just not as I should, or as much as I should because I'm not listening. I'm not giving him every opportunity to guide me, just some.
This is not the most encouraging post I recognize, it's just what's on my head today.

3 comments:

Lorraine T said...

Here's something that I hope is of an encouragement to you... You get out of it what you put into it... Thats a good thing and not a bad thing. Keep up the great work! The more we leaders put into our relationship with God, the more we have to put into the lives of the kids... the more the kids get poured into the more they can reap and pour out. Don't sell yourself short! kids love spending time with non-conformist, non judgemental adult to hang out with. Life is some crazy circle sometimes and you will be doing life and ministry with someone sometime soon, but remember ... serve your passion, find your sweet spot... Kids are bound to love you and allow you to speak into their lives!!! I love ya!

Alexandra said...

good to hear from you Troy! It's cool reading what's going on up there

Trevor said...

So I says to the guy. At least you're worried about it. It is when you're no longer worried about your relationship with God that you are in true trouble. When you just don't care anymore. That's when it becomes a mess. You're a good man charlie brown. As for a life partner maybe you'll find a NB chick and live there for the next 20 years like Keith. Anywho talk to you later little brother.