Monday, May 28, 2007

Who I want to be

So I took a bunch of my kids to YC this weekend and I had such a blast. I was incredibly nervous beforehand, because of you course you don't know what to expect for a trip you've never done before, and I have this thing where I get super nervous if I've never led a certain event or trip before. Once the first one's out of the way it's much more relaxing for me.
And I even learned a few things for myself this weekend. It's funny how God will speak to you even if you don't expect it to happen (there's a story for another day).
Amidst the noise (the incredible noise) and the different bands and speakers there was this one worship band who took the stage for a couple of the main sessions. They were called United and they led me towards the throne of God to worship, it was quite the experience (I'm not an experientialist don't worry). But a pastor from their church over there in Australia was with them and he spoke for that session. His name's Phil Dooley, I had never heard of him before, but then again, I hadn't really listened to United too much either.
The ironic thing is that it wasn't a word that was said that struck me, I couldn't tell you what came out of his mouth at that point (I do remember what he spoke on in general though) but this incredible thought raced through my mind over and over again "I want to be like that."
It's not the part where he was on stage speaking to thousands of people, I don't really think I'd have much to say in that respect, though I have to admit, there is a part of me that would love to be a performer professionally...
As he spoke, I noticed how people were gripped by what he was saying, and I noticed that the members of the band (who were on the stage in the background) were there with him. He was introduced as "their youth pastor" and that's where it started. There's a group of people who lead worship all over the world, they've sold thousands of cds and they can get a crowd pumped pretty efficiently, but the still had a guy who was "leading" them in a sense. Of course I don't know the way things work for them intrinsically, it might be far different than I have imagined it to be. But as I observed how intently they listened to him speak and how the entire audience was captured by his story, I thought "I want to be like that." I want to be the kind of guy who is so full of the Spirit of God that people are affected. I want to lead a youth ministry where students don't listen to anything I say because I've asked them to or because I'm funny or really really ridiculously good looking (though I may do/be all of those), I so desperately long for my life to be such a wellspring of joy that overflows from a tight relationship with Christ that people can't help but be gripped with what's being said. And not to have anything to do with how I craft words or how I can do anything, but simply that the truth of God would flow so freely from my lips that the story itself will captivate, cause it's no my story, it's His.
I want to be that kind of pastor, Christian, friend, brother, son, uncle and Lord willing husband and father. So infused with Christ that I'm forgotten, but Christ is proclaimed.
I got such a long way to go, but it's worth the work.
May I take those steps continually.

2 comments:

Joe said...

Heres a random thought for you: you've changed a lot from highschool days, in a good way. I recall days when you had a freaking hard time even talking about God. Good for you!! glad you had fun at YC.

Nikki said...

Well said.