Thursday, July 13, 2006

Life's a Beach.

Now that I'm home in Ontario, especially here at the beach, I've been appreciating this place more and more. I absolutely love it here, the scenery that is. It's so beautiful and I never realized how great it was until I lived a few years in the prairies and came back. My parents and I went for a picnic at Tobermory today, for those of you who have no idea what that means, it's the end point on the Bruce Peninsula, the escarpment that begins at Niagara Falls continues through Owen Sound and up the Bruce Peninsula and Tobermory is sort of the end point, although it still continues....blah blah blah, I know. But we were walking around in that little town which is essentially a small marina with some shops and houses surrounding it, and I was realizing how much I miss those types of places, you know, water.
Then I spent some time on the beach tonight, read and went for a swim. It was a good way to reflect, I'm in that kind of a mood today, moreso than usual I suppose.
I recently started reading "Uprising" by Erwin MacManus and I am really enjoying it so far. It's actually been useful in God showing me how deep pride runs in me at times, it's kind of scary, but it's a good thing to be made aware of it. You can't fix something if you don't know it's broken.
Pride is one of those things that works its way into you so that you don't even notice, sometimes it's painfully obvious and other times it's not so clear, maybe to those around you but not always to you.
All I could think about as I read was how much I want to be so bent on God and his purpose that nothing else matters, and as things fall into place after that I can count them as a gift from Him and not as the goal in themselves. As I reflected on life earlier today and how I often find myself desiring to be in a relationship with a "significant other" and further into the future, married with kids, but I often see those things as the goal in themselves. Or even what my career might look like and all that junk, seeing those things as the end in themselves does not provide much hope in life, because once you get there, then what? If my goal is to get married, and it happens, then what? But if my goal is to dive deeper and follow God wherever, that's a goal that I think is worthy of persuing with everything, and if I am blessed with a wife and a family, that's great! Then I can enjoy that and contribute as much as possible.
I guess it may not make a lot of sense, at least the way I said it, but it's making sense in my mind. The ultimate goal, in my mind, if not eternal is not worth it.
I tend to be very much of a future oriented person, I'm always thinking of what things will be like 5 or 10 or even 40 years down the road. I think there's some importance in making plans, but worrying so much about the future only stalls me from being who God has made me now.
These all seem to be such fundamental realizations, but when you rerealize them for the first time in a long time and actually begin to really grasp a bit of the concept, it's exciting.
The bottom line is, I want to live, and live freely, I mean real freedom, not something that I think is freedom but is really holding me back from experiencing God and being changed and molded to look more like Him.
There's a song, it's a country song (that's right), Paul Brandt sings it. The song is called "Loving You" I think, something along those lines. One line goes a little something like this: "Loving you is what I want to be remembered for." Now the song is directed towards a woman, it's pretty clear, but man do I want to be remembered for loving, actually living the two main commandments. Love God, love people. The question is, what am I going to do about that?


Lorraine T said...

Man... after talking to you 52 hours a day, would would think that I would have heard everything that you had to say. Not so my fine thinking young friend. Maybe one of these days you will only tackle one topic at a time. I always come away from your blogs with my head going in a thousand different ways!!! Tobermory looks FANTASTIC - looked it up on google - a real gem! It's cetainly funny that we miss what we are use to ... after living in Oakville for 2 years... I craved prairies - big blue skies, dry sweet air, cooling off when the night rolled it... Prairies are an excellent place! Now pride, I often feel self righteous pride, when I look at my sons, comparison shopping during a sermon (i usually look great) and even in my job. Thank goodness that God opens my eyes and my ears OFTEN to remind me that I have miles to go before I sleep... There is an Amy Grant song... My father's eyes. This was always important - as I was adopted and didn't know whos eyes I had, I want the eyes of Jesus... to be known and remembered for having His eyes and heart.... whew! Takes my breath away....

Jon said...

"You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe

Ah, water! That and many other things called me this far east.
Y'know, you're right. Temporal (or finitely attainable) goals eventually run out--yet we can be a part of something so much more.

Cam said...

"All I could think about as I read was how much I want to be so bent on God and his purpose that nothing else matters, and as things fall into place after that I can count them as a gift from Him and not as the goal in themselves."

That is the authorized Troy version of
Matthew 6:33. Amazing. i love it when I read things that totally hit me in the heart.

I love you.

Trevor said...

good question. one we each need to continually ask ourselves. Now What? What am I going to DO about the things God has shown me...too often we miss the end of those revelations. The doing. So happy to come and hang with you in the east next week.