tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-214094282024-03-07T12:10:47.287-06:00upward, onwardTwo roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.
Robert FrostTroyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-85943059335579335912013-07-04T09:57:00.001-06:002013-07-04T09:58:27.547-06:00The Wait is Lifted...but not over.We are two days away from the technical due date of our first child and this morning marks the final appointment with our maternity doctor before this child is "supposed" to arrive. Neither of us thought we would be requiring today's appointment, both Amanda and I were confident this baby was going to arrive sometime in the last week, and yet here we are.<br />
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I'm quite confident we're not the first couple in history to somehow think this would be the case and I can bet we won't be the last. I have been having many conversations with others who can readily recall the days of waiting in the final, somewhat excruciating (more for her than me) period of pregnancy when you are now past the point of wonder and reaching the point of impatience. As I've been experiencing, speaking of, and thinking on this current state of affairs I've had to wrestle with myself and God in the process and I've come to a conclusion, waiting can fade even before it's over. </div>
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You see, I've spent much of my life (as many of us do I would imagine) waiting for things. When I was in school every day I'd wait for it to be over, when graduation approached I had to wait until it happened, when I finally met the woman I would marry there was much waiting involved. It seems as though we're conditioned somehow to wait. And the worst part is that I suck at it. Even after so much time spent pining over what is to come, waiting (usually impatiently) still comes bearing anxiety and grumpiness. More than that it always bears the question (for me at least): Why God? Why does it have to be this way? What are you trying to do to me? But thanks to some conversations and my current personal reading, I've been pushed into having to wrestle with this notion waiting, patience, and acceptance. </div>
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Some current reading material has challenged my perception of God. Do I view him as some magical genie who either grants my wishes or doesn't? Or is God the one who fulfills my needs, not by accommodating my desires but by being all I desire? Is the presence of God what is of most importance to me, or do I want him to bless me with what I think is necessary?</div>
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After a weekend of expecting the baby to arrive because it seemed as though it was going to happen, we've both had to set expectation aside. It was draining me. With every movement or sound that came from my wife I was on the edge of my seat with hospital bags in sight and I quickly became exhausted. Emotionally and physically drained because we weren't sleeping much and cranky because our expectations weren't met. So it is with God sometimes. I become exhausted and drained because I'm on the edge of my seat expecting and when that is not met, I am let down. </div>
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Does this mean God has somehow let me down? Does it mean that my yet to be born child has let me down? I don't think so. I think I'm letting myself down because I'm creating a situation that breeds disappointment. If my child needs to met my expectations, I will be let down and they will be hurt by me. If God needs to meet my expectations, I will be let down because that's not who God is. </div>
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However, if the mere presence of God is what I desire most, then I cannot be let down because when I know his presence in a moment, I'm satisfied. If my child is free to be who they are and all I want is to be with them, I will not be let down because presence is enough. </div>
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So with this in mind, the wait is lifted. Waiting for something doesn't let me down, it makes me excited. Waiting for God is becomes exciting. Waiting for this child becomes exciting, and when they finally do arrive I will get to learn who they are. When God graces me with the experience of his presence, I can learn who he is. </div>
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So the wait has been lifted for now. But it's certainly not over, though I can look at it from a perspective that allows me to sleep at night and doesn't produce disappointment but joy. For now I'll enjoy the thought of what it will be like to hold my child, and when that time comes I can be blown away by how much better it is than I could have ever imagined. And I'll enjoy the thought of meeting with God and be dumbfounded by just how my thoughts pale in comparison to the real experience. </div>
Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-72823495186744409662013-04-10T17:03:00.001-06:002013-04-10T17:04:20.432-06:00Familiar FriendsHave you ever found yourself thinking differently than most on a subject and wondered if anyone else may has some of the same questions as you but everyone's just intimidated or frightened of what might happen?<br />
What about one of those moments when you decide to just come right out and say what you're actually thinking afraid of the consequence and you receive a surprising yet agreeing smile. Almost as though the other person was just waiting for someone else to take that plunge first.<br />
There are many pieces of life which call for attention to personal growth because for some reason I feel as though I need to have reached a certain point of maturity before such things occur. As much as this may spiral into a whirlpool of self-defeat (the roots of which meander much deeper than I'd care to admit), it's a learned behavior from which I find myself seeking redemption. Nonetheless I wrestle with the truth of God's unending, often unrequited, but most certainly undeserved love for me in the midst of the struggle.<br />
Alas, I meandered (not unlike the aforementioned roots) away from my point. A new pastor attempting to blaze a trail through an open field of seemingly countless choices. A new child forming in the womb of my too beautiful gift of a wife. A new age of determined tearing and mending of spiritual, physical, and emotional muscle after years of neglect and ruin. This is the landscape of life as we each sit in our respective places, me writing down the uneven nature of my thoughts, and you attempting to navigate this tangled web weaved for you.<br />
Newness abounds, anticipation lurks, that ever elusive reality of contentment just beyond one's reach somehow comes closer. In world of never good enough I fear that this might just be the good enough I've longed for and I'm terrified. After years of feeling as though I can't quite keep up, or I need to do something else to win the affection of those around me, I am challenged to consider the truth of God's love without attached strings. Who am I trying to please anyway? Idols take on all forms, even the prospect of service can become such and it's something I must be ever aware of.<br />
It seems as though the winds of change are blowing and I'm perplexed by the uncontrollable nature of the wind as it tosses the trees about outside my office window. In the same way I am perplexed by the uncontrollable nature of life and the change that comes with it. It is interesting to me that we can attempt to harness the power of the wind but we can never control it. It's an illusion that we "control" it, in fact it's an illusion that we control anything. We decide that we're in control of something so that we can remain comfortable, we can feel less threatened by that which is unknown.<br />
So it is with this newness in front of me, I'm discovering the less I hold tightly to the things around me, the more freedom there is to just be. A good friend and coworker pinpointed something that scares me substantially, leading out of character and not competency. As mentioned already, I've only ever found value in myself if I can perform or produce something, but what if I can't? Am I inherently unlovable? What if who I am will leave a much more lasting impression on those around me than what I can do? What if my contribution to society rests more in understanding how God sees me and reflecting that to others? What if I can do nothing other than be who it is I've not wanted to admit to being?<br />
Mike Yaconelli, a hero of mine these days, challenges my perceptions quite consistently with his own from his writing. He's dead now, unfortunately for us, but before he went home he left some thoughts in the form of a book called <i>Dangerous Wonder</i> which reflects on child-like faith that should maybe stay child-like in some very significant ways. Here's what he proposes:<br />
<i>Eugene Peterson pointed out once that most of us spend our live "impersonating ourselves." Children are who they are. It doesn't take long before we have convinced them that they are what they wear, or what they do, or what they have, or what they look like. But, if our children are lucky, we convince them early on to resist caricature or illusion. Once we decide, no matter how early in our lives, to quit listening to the way we are made, we begin to lose our God hearing...The moment we deny God's fingerprint on our soul, the instant we stop listening to our uniqueness, our God hearing starts to deteriorate...Jeremiah discovered that to deny the way he was made was to deny "his word," God's voice, God's whispering presence in his life. Jeremiah wrestled all his life with the truth that God's calling is God calling. (pp. 95-96). </i><br />
Yaconelli drew from Jeremiah 20, where Jeremiah had been beaten by some angry people for telling them what they didn't want to hear, ultimately the truth of God. He was a bit bothered by the outcome of God calling on him, but he knew he had no other way. Sometimes I can see where he's coming from. For me, it's not because I'm weary of being beaten by people, it's more a matter of recognizing the very disconcerting reality that change and growth hurt, but the pain produces something good. It's like Paul said in Romans 5, suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. To develop character, I need to hurt. To hurt is uncomfortable, and to be uncomfortable is outside of everything our culture strives for. And ultimately, I need to be ok with people being uncomfortable with me to help them grow as well.<br />
I can imagine some kind of dream of who I'd like to be, I want to make sure that will look more like Jesus than anything else and that's going to require a lot of suffering to get there. It's like training for and running an endurance run (for me it's half marathon distance). You know that in order to go further you need to push beyond the threshold of what your body is currently comfortable with, that's the only way to grow. Before muscles can grow they need to be torn. I know it's a reality of physical life, but what I often forget is how it is very real for the spiritual as well. Much newness is here and on the horizon, some muscles need to be torn yet before they can rebuild and get stronger. Character building hurts, but I'm discovering just how much God loves to restore that which has been torn.<br />
So maybe it's ok to be the one who steps out on a limb to see how far I can go before it breaks. Maybe part of my hearing God calling is to be willing to be uncomfortable and then bring others with me. Maybe I need to be the first to break the silence when I think differently on something. Not for the sake of disturbing but for the sake of providing space for God to produce perseverance, character, and hope.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-72186302638724120252012-07-03T09:11:00.001-06:002012-07-03T09:11:36.816-06:00What a difference a year makesOn the ferry, heading to the mainland (I must be an islander now) for a few weeks of school and considering the last time I was doing this about a year ago. <br />
It had literally been just a couple of days after we had loaded our condo into a trailer in Calgary and unloaded it into Amanda's parents garage. We were not into our place in Victoria yet, and Amanda had just accepted a job for the fall. I had nothing but my work computer and a whole lot of questions because I knew it wouldn't be long before that laptop was surrendered and I had no new "work computer" to assume afterward. Plus the prospect of a new degree was somewhat daunting. A lot of questions...<br />
We moved ourselves into a little dorm room for a month while I discovered what it's like to lose my mind and a few short weeks later we were moving into what is now home. Little did I know, however, this new "home" would feel more like prison over the coming months. <br />
This time is different. A year later I am alone because Amanda can stay at home instead of joining her nomadic husband for the fury of courses this month. Two new jobs on the horizon that would not have been imagined the year previous. 5 courses have successfully been completed and the job doesn't begin for another 6 weeks. It seems that this is the time of answers after a long year of many questions. <br />
Though circumstance is rather different now there is one constant. God knew it. He knows it. The only changing factor is that now I can rest in that fact believing it to be true. A year ago I wasn't so sure because my trust was in my own ability. This year I can rest because I know I don't have what it takes but I will see success here regardless of my ability because God is faithful. <br />
The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert coming out of Egypt, thankfully for me it's only been 1. Hopefully I will heed the lessons learned from such an experience and walk humbly with hands held open for whatever He may want to place in them. Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-91306630962458506252012-06-01T09:08:00.000-06:002012-06-04T20:40:45.677-06:00timing is everythingI feel like I've been on hiatus in recent weeks, perhaps even months. I wonder if this is what television actors experience when their shows break for the summer...possibly, but likely with more money involved.<br />
Sidenote: Why do I always think about money?<br />
Hiatus, a gap or interruption in space/time, a break. Is it possible for a break to not feel like one? That is, can you experience a "hiatus" while being worked on? I think so and I think that is exactly what this past year has been about. While the so called break hasn't lasted that long and it hasn't been much of a "break" indeed, there is a sense of renewal that comes from recollection on the journeys of these last 12, perhaps even more, months. This time a year ago we were in Calgary preparing to load up a trailer with our belongings and head west to this coastal region. Still three months left on my "contract" with Ambrose, a month of hectic schooling, and a whole lot of uncertainty to come, I was hopeful for what was ahead.<br />
Of course we all know that hindsight offers much more perspective than foresight and had I known what was to come I may have attempted to approach things differently. But, if hindsight has anything else to offer then in this case it certainly screams at me that timing is everything. Interesting how God tends to manoeuvre in such ways, isn't it? Here I am, 11 months after moving, 10 months after the first summer session of school (with the next at my doorstep), 9 months after finishing work, and perhaps 5 months after I had given up hope (don't worry, hope is not lost). Timing is everything.<br />
Without God's timing and by going my way, I may well have landed a job that was consistent with my interests at the time, it may have even paid well and continued the pursuit of comfort and stability. It may have been the case that I found a niche in the area I have pursued without any substantial reasoning and done quite well. This is all subjective and circumstantial of course because it has not happened this way, but bear with me, timing is everything.<br />
Had everything gone my way from the start, we may have been further along with certain goals and aspirations BUT we would have missed many lessons in humility. Faith would have remained circumstantial, relationship would have been superficial, call would have been suppressed, God would have sat on the mantel, I would have suffered and by proxy so would my wife undeservedly. Had I been able to control the outcome, I would have seen to it (albeit unintentionally) that life would become my masterpiece, fixing the deck to be stacked in my favour with little interest in the things that truly matter. Pursuit had consumed me. That is to say, my concern became more for comfort and well-being than for Gospel and Truth. Not that the desires I had were inherently bad, it was mainly to provide for potential family, look after my wife and see that she is able to enjoy life, be able to contribute and live up to what I had projected to be my responsibility as a man and husband. These desires were not bad or wrong in themselves, but without focus on life in Christ, misaligned. Timing is everything.<br />
Only now am I able to look back at the progression of the last year and a half to see how God has been pulling me back into His alignment. 12 months ago I would not have considered a church ministry position for vocation again. When asked by many I would answer: "I'm not against it, though it would have to be the right circumstance". All the while I would be thinking: "There is no possible circumstance that would take me down that road." Funny how wrong we can be sometimes in our responses to things we think we control, even if only as an illusion.<br />
Without God's timing and His hand in all of this I wouldn't have come across a job posting for a pastoral position that would be exactly what I had long desired to see in the church. I wouldn't have sent my resume because I had felt some strange draw to do so. I wouldn't have willingly sat down to explore the questionnaire requested by the search committee and struggled through my experience and position on issues. I would not have entered an interview with said committee and been completely vulnerable as one a little sheepish to enter pastoral ministry again, but earnestly seeking God's direction. I wouldn't have been able to endure the preparatory process that to some seems excruciatingly long but to me just seems right. I wouldn't have found favour with the board of elders or been so comfortable in that space. And without God's timing I wouldn't be sitting here now eagerly anticipating the next stage in the process, to meet the rest of the congregation and leaders and speak my heart and what I believe to be God's heart into the position for which I am applying.<br />
You see, timing is everything, especially when we have become distracted by the concerns of our culture to succeed in our own way. Ironic how God will bring us full circle, however, to provide something that is exactly what we were searching for in the first place, only after bringing us back in alignment with Him instead of perpendicular to Him. It is not all finished yet, there is still process. But I walk ahead looking up, waaaaaay up (Friendly Giant anyone?), expecting only that God will prevail in this situation and in our lives where He rightly belongs. With humility accepting the direction He is taking us and with anticipation that this pastoral position will hopefully work out. Not taking hold of it as my own, but accepting the call and walking in grace and humility to serve in such a way.<br />
There is definitely a story to be told out of all of this and you are only getting a brief glimpse into the goodness that God has been orchestrating. This weekend I spoke at our current church on Christ as Saviour, indeed it is a personal story but much greater than that. Not only does he save us from eternity in absence but he saves us from our own paths of destruction here and now, if we are willing to let him. Timing is everything, don't think for a moment that you control it.<br />
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Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-822820636951504252012-03-15T15:14:00.000-06:002012-03-15T15:14:33.751-06:00A Tale of Two Women (Mark 12:41-44 & 14:1-10)<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here's the manuscript from my sermon this past Sunday. It's not the best thing to have been put together, but I figure it's important to lay it out there anyway, flawed as it is. I guess it's a life style choice, ever thought of trying it?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I’ve been reading a book this past week, call A Resilient Life, by a man named Gordon MacDonald. He has an interesting story of his own, but there was something that struck me as I was thinking about Lent, about Jesus’ sacrifice, about our response and what kind of life I want to live as a result. Here’s an excerpt from this book, he’s recalling when he was in a private boy’s school as a teenager and seeking to be on the track team:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">As best as I can recall his words after all these years, he said, “Gordie, I’ve been watching you carefully. I think you have the potential to be an excellent runner. You have a runner’s body and a natural stride. And you are fast. But you have much to learn. If you are to compete for Stony Brook, you’re going to have to work hard. You’ll have to learn to discipline yourself, and it will mean that you have to trust me and follow my instructions. Every day you will have to come to this track and complete the workouts that will be listed on this board. Now, Gordie…don’t commit to this if you are not willing to give it everything you have.” And then he posed the question, “Gordie, are you willing to pay the price it takes to become a Stony Brook trackman?” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">…That infamous day, the coach was not asking for an immediate answer. Instead he said, “I want you to leave the track and think about what I’ve said. And when you decide what you want to do, come back and let me know.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Last week Cam examined Jesus entry into Jerusalem, as King. These are moments that are rich in historical significance in the gospels, and just like lent, this is a time that can be pivotal in how our hearts and minds are shaped in discovering Christ. I find it interesting the specific parables and stories that remain from the time of Jesus’ entering Jerusalem and his death and resurrection. This is not a significant period of time chronologically, but if you consider that it’s really only a few days between his entrance into Jerusalem and his death on the cross, there’s a lot that takes place and significantly a lot that Jesus makes sure to point out and use as teachable moments for his disciples. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">There are two short stories of women (somewhat in honor of International Women’s Day) that grab me as I read these final chapters of Mark. What is it that Jesus sees as teachable moments for his disciples? Why does it happen now? What can we learn from these encounters? Hopefully as we look at these women in light of lent and the season of remembering Jesus coming sacrifice not only will the actions of these women and Jesus’ words regarding them, but also Gordon MacDonald’s story of considering joining the track team will begin to paint a clearer picture. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let’s look at the two women in Mark, the first one in <b>12:41-44</b>:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b><sup>41</sup></b> Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. <b><sup>42</sup></b> But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.<br />
</span></i><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b><sup>43</sup></b> Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. <b><sup>44</sup></b> They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br />
</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Okay, nothing surprising there. Jesus notices the poor widow giving and points out her sacrifice to the disciples. Now let’s look at another short little story of a woman and Jesus’ words regarding it:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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14:1-10</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b><sup>1</sup></b> Now the Passover and the Festival of Unleavened Bread were only two days away, and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were scheming to arrest Jesus secretly and kill him. <b><sup>2</sup></b> “But not during the festival,” they said, “or the people may riot.”<br />
</span></i><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b><sup>3</sup></b> While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.<br />
<b><sup>4</sup></b> Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? <b><sup>5</sup></b> It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages<b><sup>[</sup></b></span></i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+14&version=NIV#fen-NIV-24760a" title="See footnote a"><b><i><sup><span style="color: #b37162; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">a</span></sup></i></b></a><b><i><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">]</span></sup></i></b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.<br />
<b><sup>6</sup></b> “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.<b><sup>7</sup></b> The poor you will always have with you,<b><sup>[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+14&version=NIV#fen-NIV-24762b" title="See footnote b"><span style="color: #b37162; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">b</span></a>]</sup></b> and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. <b><sup>8</sup></b> She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. <b><sup>9</sup></b> Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”<br />
<b><sup>10</sup></b> Then Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve, went to the chief priests to betray Jesus to them. <b><sup>11</sup></b> They were delighted to hear this and promised to give him money. So he watched for an opportunity to hand him over.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br />
Notice any similarities in the women of these stories? Notice any similarities in Jesus’ response to his disciples? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Make no mistake, these are definitely separate stories. They are not related aside from some of the same characters and each holds its own significance in Jewish culture and in the historicity of events. However, there are some curious similarities that I don’t think we can ignore as they not only set an example for us but also provide a foreshadowing of what is to come. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">There are three observations from these two events that can be paralleled for us in reflection during this time of Lent. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">These women are unassuming.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">In each of the accounts, while different, the women are painted as unassuming. They are not of high stature and they do not have any expectations, they simply do what they see as necessary and Jesus praises their efforts. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The poor widow is juxtaposed to a bunch of loud and self-righteous rich people, who do things to gain attention, seek the approval of those around them, and welcome the perks of being public religious figures and rich people that draw praise from the people. These people give large amounts and make it known while the poor woman is also seemingly aware of her status and her ability to give and does so without really drawing attention. After all, she is only giving a few cents, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The second woman (known as Mary from similar accounts in Matthew and John), also unassuming just goes ahead and does what she sees as best in the situation. She grabs the most expensive gift that she can find and heads straight to Jesus, not considering or perhaps just not caring what kind of response she may receive. Her only intention is to serve Jesus by anointing him with this expensive perfume, she sees the value in doing so and does it. Not unlike the poor widow seeing the value in her gift and does so. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Jesus’ response regarding both of these women is that she has done all she can. That’s what I want his response to be to me, “he’s done all he can”, given everything I have to give. This isn’t to live life exhausted, it’s a life that is unassuming, not seeking gain but living generously for the sake of the Kingdom of God, not unlike the two women we see in this stories.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">These women are self-denying.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">In each instance Jesus points out the value of the woman’s actions. The poor widow is surrounded by those who are able to give immensely more than she could ever dream, but as Jesus makes sure to show the disciples, she has given absolutely everything she has that day. The Temple treasury was the place where a number of different baskets were placed for people to give their non-animal sacrifices for a variety of purposes. This was an act of complete self-denial on the part of the woman, again juxtaposed to the self-gratifying acts of the rich who were giving large amounts of money with little value to them. In contrast the woman has given everything. She is in a sense pouring herself out, disregarding her needs in service through giving money. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The second woman, we can see a more literal act of pouring out, though it does hold some similar symbolism. She literally pours the expensive perfume over Jesus, normally reserved for a burial ritual after a person has died. In this moment she is literally pouring out her love for Jesus and he recognizes this. When she is accosted by the other people there Jesus defends her actions, she has done everything she could. In a sense she has given more than the others, who while their desire to help the poor is noble, it was clearly not what the best use of the perfume at that moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">This second story has a number of very rich things to draw from it (and perhaps some slightly controversial), but the point for today is that she had given the best of what she had to honor Christ, she is in a sense pouring herself out for Christ. The author also tells the story of Judas doing the precise opposite act here in pure selfishness, selling out Jesus for a pocket full of coin. So here I ask myself, which would I rather be like?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">These events are a foreshadowing and an example. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Finally, these two events serve as a foreshadowing of things to come. The second story from Mark 14 is much more clearly portrayed as such with imagery like the pouring out of the perfume, a burial ritual, Jesus’ acknowledgement of his coming betrayal and death. However, the poor widow of Mark 12 does hold similar significance of giving up everything for the sake of something greater, a foreshadowing of Christ’s sacrifice to come. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">I’m quite confident that there was no mistake in the placement of these stories in Mark. Jesus has come into Jerusalem as a King, he has been recognized by the masses as the Messiah and we are now seeing the contrasting picture of what it means to be a “suffering servant” on our level. Jesus has his own level of suffering to come, these two women have given just a small glimpse of what is coming in pouring out of themselves just like Jesus will be poured out as the true suffering servant who will take on the sins of the world in such an unassuming manner, denying himself to be the sin offering. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">So of course what does this mean for us? What these two woman have portrayed can fit into our world today as examples of ways that we can pour ourselves out, but perhaps there are other ways. Paul says it well in Philippians 2:3-18:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, <b><sup>4</sup></b>not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><br />
<b><sup>5</sup></b> In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:<br />
<b><sup>6</sup></b> Who, being in very nature<b><sup>[</sup></b></span></i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+2&version=NIV#fen-NIV-29398a" title="See footnote a"><b><i><sup><span style="color: #b37162; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">a</span></sup></i></b></a><b><i><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">]</span></sup></i></b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> God,<br />
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;<br />
<b><sup>7</sup></b> rather, he made himself nothing<br />
by taking the very nature<b><sup>[</sup></b></span></i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+2&version=NIV#fen-NIV-29399b" title="See footnote b"><b><i><sup><span style="color: #b37162; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">b</span></sup></i></b></a><b><i><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">]</span></sup></i></b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> of a servant,<br />
being made in human likeness.<br />
<b><sup>8</sup></b> And being found in appearance as a man,<br />
he humbled himself<br />
by becoming obedient to death—<br />
even death on a cross!<br />
<b><sup>9</sup></b> Therefore God exalted him to the highest place<br />
and gave him the name that is above every name,<br />
<b><sup>10</sup></b> that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,<br />
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,<br />
<b><sup>11</sup></b> and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,<br />
to the glory of God the Father.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b><sup>12</sup></b> Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, <b><sup>13</sup></b> for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.<br />
</span></i><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b><sup>14</sup></b> Do everything without grumbling or arguing, <b><sup>15</sup></b> so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”<b><sup>[</sup></b></span></i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+2&version=NIV#fen-NIV-29407c" title="See footnote c"><b><i><sup><span style="color: #b37162; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">c</span></sup></i></b></a><b><i><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">]</span></sup></i></b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky <b><sup>16</sup></b> as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. <b><sup>17</sup></b> But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. <b><sup>18</sup></b>So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">What does it look like for you to pour yourself out? For the widow it was giving all the money she had. For the woman in Mark 14 it was offering herself as a servant to anoint Jesus. For Jesus it was a story of betrayal and horrific death. For Paul, being poured out like a drink offering. The women we’ve taken a look at today were indeed small glimpses of what Jesus would be doing on a much larger scale in only a few days. Jesus then lived out his sacrifice, a suffering servant for the sake of the world. Paul’s life was an example as he followed Christ’s example. We have pictures of what it might mean for us to truly serve Christ by serving others, selflessly handing ourselves over in ways that will mean sacrifice, but will work out our salvation with fear and trembling.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">All of this shows that we, as those who are looking to follow Christ in everything we do, will continually pour ourselves out, looking to the interest of others, giving up of ourselves for a greater purpose. These women were blessed by Jesus in what they did, he took notice of them and declared what they did as good. This is not a magic formula to get good things, it’s not a way to try and gain salvation/accolade/wealth through selfless action, it is as Paul put it, identifying with Christ. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gordon MacDonald writes these words after his recounting that story I read before:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">A day later I told Marvin Goldberg that I would trust him and that I would be willing to pay the price. The day after that, my name appeared for the first time on…the white bulletin board. Eight months later, I wore my first white cardigan sweater with a large S.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gordon’s coach wanted him to consider the weight of what was being asked of him. It wasn’t simply a small price that would be paid, not just a little would be required, he was requiring every ounce of energy and time in preparation for competition. This is the same kind of pouring out that the women experienced in the presence of Jesus, giving everything they had. For one it was a couple coins, for another it was her undivided attention and some expensive perfume, for Gordon on the track team it was countless hours spent on the track in training. For you it will likely be different, at different times. Jesus poured himself out completely, to the point of death, but even before that his life reflected (one could argue the same of the women in these stories) sacrifice, commitment, dedication, discipline. Giving whatever you have, not money necessarily, it could be something like time or perhaps a gift. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dedication, hard work, emptying of self to serve those around you. The day will come when this life is finished for you, what kind of life will you have to look back on. Will we have shined like stars amongst a warped generation through selfless living and sacrificial giving? Or will we have a “pocket full of change” at the cost of truly identifying with Christ?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Paul’s coined a phrase in recent weeks, “all life altering love requires substitutionary sacrifice”. Christ’s sacrifice is just that, how will it reflect in your life?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-86415383020691529202012-03-09T12:10:00.000-06:002012-03-09T12:10:42.311-06:00A Resilient LifeI started reading a book the other day, interestingly enough (to me at least) I've been far more productive this week by taking time to read something refreshing aside from and along with Scripture than I had been in the weeks previous without doing so. The book is called <i>A Resilient Life </i>by a man named Gordon MacDonald about practices and concepts that are helpful towards resiliency in life, especially a Christian walk.<br />
I had not previously heard of MacDonald, though strangely enough I've had this book on my book shelf for a few years now and have never picked it up aside from purchasing it some time ago. I am not exactly sure when it may have been though my best guess would place it at a Christian book store in Red Deer, Alberta roughly 3 and a half years ago while in the midst of a life transition I thought it could be useful...so here I am some years later taking a look through it and discovering some interesting things both about the topic and the author himself.<br />
MacDonald is a few generations ahead of me, actually probably about a generation before that of my father's so he just escapes the "baby boom" generation (that's a topic for another time). This isn't a book review or anything, I just find some of what I've been reading interesting in light of MacDonald's own life journey and some of his perspectives. I remember reading <i>Wild at Heart</i> a few years back when it was the talk of the evangelical Christian world of men. I was finishing up some (albeit not so good) work at a church after my final year of Bible college before moving on to a new adventure of pastoral leadership in a small Saskatchewan town. Life was in turmoil to a degree and I found comforting and challenging words from John Eldredge, but similarly I sat in discomfort as well as I read. I find this to be a recurrence this week with MacDonald's musings. He's of a very different generation than I and there are ideals he describes which I am not extremely comfortable with agreeing to. Mainly some of what is portrayed as a "rest is for wimps" kind of mentality that you may find prominent of some Christian circles past. I do recognize that he is not expressly saying this as truth, but there are certainly undertones of a grievance of lost work ethic in younger generations. Again, not a book review, just expression of thoughts as I've been reading.<br />
MacDonald certainly has a lifetime of insight to offer on such a topic of resilience and has had the misfortune of a public moral failure to add to it. Some may (and have, judging by some reviews read online) write off a person like MacDonald whose high profile ministry career had been torn apart by his adultery. This really is a story of resilience, however, because he has been in essence "nursed back to health" by a group of committed people who exercised the love of Christ and effectively helped to restore this man from his brokenness and walked with him and his family through the turmoil of it all.<br />
I don't know much about the situation just described but I do know that this is a reality in life. Hopefully it's not something that is praised by any means, but to face such horrific disaster in one's life...to own it and walk head on into the fire storm for the sake of renewal is commendable to me. It also allows me to learn some wisdom from a man who's "been to hell and back" so to speak. He'd gone so far down the path of least resistance that he could no longer see straight and has had to claw his way back and by the grace of God has found just that...grace. Not that this is my experience per se, but such an extreme example gives me hope.<br />
Resilience, to bounce back in a way. To fall, fail, drop, collapse under the pressure of life, be destroyed by circumstance either chosen or imposed and to chose to stand up and keep walking through it. To face adversity with determination, to be pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. I think this is what a life of faith looks like. Unfortunately sometimes a lack of faith can be the cause of the collapse under pressure, but restored faith and the practice of spiritual discipline can be what begins to bring one back.<br />
I wonder how many know what forgiveness feels like. To be in a position where someone has every right to despise or reject them but to be looked in the eye and hear the words "you are forgiven". How many Christians really know the weight of this concept? It is, after all, the crux on which many of us base our beliefs that Jesus died for this very purpose (simply put) and rose from the dead for life. All that to say, if one really experiences forgiveness, sees the core of that mean then we can all become agents for a resilient life. Once you've known forgiveness, release of a debt you owe, you can really only then become an encourager of resilience for others. Just what MacDonald has become.<br />
It's interesting that I picked this book up this week as I'm preaching this Sunday and had been considering two women in Mark, a poor widow who gives all her money and a woman who pours out expensive perfume on Jesus' head. These two women pour themselves out for the sake of others in their individual circumstance, just like Jesus was about to do (both of these events occurred in the days previous to his crucifixion). Resilience requires emptying oneself for the sake of others. This isn't just confession to be absolved of sin and it's not just the matter of bouncing back, it is these things but more than that. One can be resilient without having sinned, of course, something may be inflicted or circumstance may call for one to climb back after a hard hit. One can be resilient by taking responsibility for malicious actions and facing the onslaught of marauders who want nothing more than what they feel is "JUSTICE" though their picture of justice is rather skewed.<br />
More than any of this I think that a resilient nature requires one to be an encourager of resilience in others, a facilitator of it one might say. When you take on the task of walking with someone who needs to "bounce back" and perhaps is trying to but is not given a chance by others, you are in fact personifying resiliency, you are personifying Christ the ultimate example of it.<br />
A thought struck me yesterday, however minute it may seem for some it was a remarkable moment for me: I can treat this time as sabbatical. I am unemployed, in a new place, seemingly desperate to work and unable to do so because of the market or what have you, but I am afforded the opportunity to study in these days. Why it hadn't struck me sooner is a mystery, perhaps because I have been absorbed by the situation and not able to gain much perspective beyond my "closet", is beyond me. But it has struck me nonetheless, I am taking some classes and I have time to learn in between looking for work and writing sermons and volunteering elsewhere. Why not dive into Scripture? Why not dig up some old treasures of books long gone dusty? Why not look for ways to grow and to nourish and to discover the call of God on my life (once again)? Why not take advantage of a hopefully relatively brief moment in time where I am afforded the opportunity to bask in the presence of the Almighty God to glean from him what I can in preparation for what is coming...developing resilience for the future and learning lessons for today.<br />
I may not always sit comfortably as I read this book (just like <i>Wild at Heart</i>) but that's a good thing, it keeps me sharp and makes me aware of those things in me that need a little smoothing out.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-28052071712148866692012-03-03T08:23:00.000-06:002012-03-03T08:23:58.652-06:00Days Go ByTime flies when you're doing nothing.That's how it feels sometimes, though it may not be the reality of the situation. I am by no means overrun with things to do, but I am similarly not completely static.<br />
<br />
What's your experience/perception of unemployment?<br />
<br />
I have to be honest, I've had some relatively narrow opinions of those who aren't working. Perhaps that's even part of the battle right now as I sit in this space of not being able to secure a regular position. It's a bit of a frustrating space, it seems that the kinds of jobs I could get are literally not worth my time right now simply because employment insurance pays more than they would, for now. I could look at the situation and say "it's ok because I'm a student" *part time* or "it's a tough market" *so what?* or something else but the truth of the matter is that I need to recognize that it's simply beyond my control.<br />
<br />
I don't like not having control and I'm sure you can understand the feeling. In light of recent events I've been discovering that the idea of "control" is really just an illusion that we all like to hold onto. How much can you really control in your life? Think about it...really how much? I know this isn't a new thought, but it's particularly relevant to me right now. What is your life? It is a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (James 4:14). Or to quote a cult classic, "all we are is dust in the wind dude...dust...wind...dude." We think we have everything under control, but we really just think it, it's not actually what is happening. I don't think this is a bad thing at all though, and any number sermons that you could google would point out that it's Biblically accurate, relinquishing our illusion of control to God is what is best cause he knows best.<br />
<br />
That's not the only reason I don't think it's a bad thing. I think me/us not being in control of everything is a good way to keep us grounded, keep us sane, tied to the nature of Christ in us. There are little hints here and there in life to bring us back, to break the illusion that we have it all in our grasp. Sometimes the "little" hints don't seem so "little" but let's be honest, if I'm still waking up in the morning it can't be as horrible as I might think. Some things really are devastating, but there is still life to live beyond those circumstances. Some things only seem devastating, but bubbling beneath the surface is a tremendous new experience or opportunity that is just waiting for the right time to appear, almost like God had something in mind the whole time. I want to believe that, so I need to choose to.<br />
<br />
I sat down yesterday in a counselling office, it's been a few years since doing something like that. If you ever need a reality check, it's a good thing to do sometimes. There have been a number of reality checks for me this week, I can be a scary beast when I isolate and I have a tendency to do so in a new place. This is a new experience for me, however, because it is not just me now and how I am directly affects the one I care about most. Reality Check: no man is an island and I am no exception. Reality Check: I am not a victim of circumstance but I do not have control over much of what happens in life, I can control myself and that's where I need to focus. Reality Check: Running to God is much better than running from him, when you know you're built for something you should accept that and lean into it. I'm still learning how.<br />
<br />
There's some jumbled thoughts from a tired mind.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-36062022510157764712012-02-10T09:51:00.000-06:002012-02-10T09:51:53.843-06:00Something different I suppose<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Here's the manuscript from the sermon I gave on Sunday at church. John 10, pretty good passage:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Have you been a bandwagon jumper? I know I sure have, in fact, unfortunately I might need to confess that I still am at times. I can get so easily excited about something for a little while and then completely lose interest once it’s run its course, I have no use left for it, or there’s another wagon for me to jump onto across the street.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I can think of a number of these kinds of things and I think it tends to be how our society operates on a large scale as well. How about some examples…flock of seagulls haircut, the backstreet boys (or for those who might be a little bit older, the bee gees), bell bottoms (though they came back), delorians, and of course…the internet, cause it’s just a fad. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well one of those bandwagons that I at one point jumped onto and then subsequently fell off of was blogging. This is one that I’d like to take up again actually because it had tremendous benefit and it was kinda fun to have other people’s takes on my thoughts. Trying to come up with some things to say today, I went back to my blog from 5 or 6 years ago when I was a pastor because I was thinking about Cam diving into youth ministry and remembering how it felt at first. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was also thinking a lot about the theme verse on which Cam is basing much of his ministry, well, in a sense anyway. It’s the words of the verse and the truth it entails that spurs him on and I think it’s something to take note of, John 10:10 “<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of” from the message. Or “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Going back to the blog thing, if you’ll humour me, here’s one that I wrote on: </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #fafafa; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 6pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Sunday, October 01, 2006<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a href="" name="115975824347989378"></a><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><a href="http://tedunham.blogspot.com/2006/10/mediocrity-is-comfortable-prison.html"><span style="color: #dda300; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Mediocrity is a comfortable prison</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">I feel imprisoned right now. That's the honest truth. Imprisoned by the ease of mediocrity.<br />
There is so much potential that God has placed within me and I know He longs to make me fly in that potential and reach pretty huge heights. What that might look like is another story that I don't know the middle or the end to, but I have a feeling I know the beginning.<br />
Perhaps God's stirring something within me to break free from said prison and bust away from any sort of mediocre lifestyle that just doesn't fulfil.<br />
Jesus promises abundant life. Am I there? I'm not so sure that I am entirely. Do I see glimpses of it? Absolutely. Do I long for more? Yup, sure do. Am I saved by the blood of the Lamb? You bet I am and I'm so thankful for it.<br />
There's something more though. There's a satisfaction in life that Jesus provides that I don't always experience. Contentment is what most people seem to call it, and I'm just not there.<br />
I wrestle with thoughts that I've had many times in years past of, as Paul describes, "being content in any and every situation." If you've read any of my blogs you've noticed that I'm not married and I don't like that. That's not contentment! Does contentment mean that I settle for my current situation? Not in the least! It means I recognize my current situation as being where God has placed me and I find joy in Him, not in searching for what I don't have!<br />
But there are aspects of life that I believe God wants us to be unsettled about. He wants us to feel unsettled over unsaved people, poverty, affluence, mediocrity, stagnance, etc. I shouldn't just settle for a life of second best, a life that doesn't change, a heart that isn't constantly broken for the people around me. I shouldn't settle for just getting things done, they should be done well. I shouldn't settle for last minute efforts to be prepared for wednesday night youth ministry, I should be well ahead and well prepared so that I don't disappoint the people who need to hear the truth.<br />
I shouldn't settle for ideas that come to mind about how to strive for purity, how to help those around me, how to share Jesus with other people, only to write them down on a piece of paper and file them away along with the rest. Non-action plans just don't cut it. And if all of these things are being settled for in my life, then I'm too comfortable.<br />
There's too much that isn't happening that could be and should be. An action plan doesn't go anywhere without the "action."<br />
For far too long I've settled for the ease of mediocrity all the while not realizing that it's really a prison that people get trapped in. As a prisoner wants to be out of his jail cell so I should long to be as far away from a mediocre life as possible. But not only long for it, work towards it.<br />
Can I do such a thing on my own? I think many lives, including my own, would testify that it's not something I can do myself. I need others to push me forward, I need God to pull me up out of the quick sand. Do I know the "action" steps that need to be taken? I'm not sure that I do right now and that is certainly unsettling, but do I need to take action? Yes, I do.<br />
Will I? I most certainly intend to, but succeeding in such a track will only come from God.<br />
Will it just happen if I don't do anything? Not likely.<br />
I think it's time to be unsettled. I'm feeling it right now, it's only begun to stir recently, a hungry heart growls like an empty stomach. There's a longing for more, my heart is saying "more food, less garbage." A broken heart, that's what I want. Not in the normal way, that's been done before, a new kind of broken heart. One the spurs on toward love and good deeds. A heart that longs to see people come to Jesus, that would do anything to see that. A heart that doesn't settle for just existing, for just getting things done, but one that strives to excel in everything and to experience the abundant life Christ offers.<br />
That's what's on my heart today.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over time, in my illustrious long life and experience with youth ministry, ministry and life as a believer in general it’s that regardless of what I try or do, it’s Jesus who provides. If we look at the greater context of this verse there are two major ways that Jesus describes himself and they are definitely worth paying attention to for all of us. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jesus the Gate<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The first way that Jesus describes himself in this shepherding metaphor is as the Gate. “<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>They will come in and go out, and find pasture.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b><sup>10</sup></b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">There’s a couple things to note about this image of Jesus as the gate. I can’t get the image of a swinging gate out of my mind when I read this, mainly just because I’m a visual thinker and when I think of sheep I think back to my childhood visiting my Aunt’s sheep farm. They had pastures and gates the swung open. But here imagine a stone wall of sorts, likely topped with thorns or some kind of prickly plant to try to keep thing out and to funnel the sheep through the gate. Now the “gate” is the shepherd himself, who would plant himself at the opening to monitor everything from the proper vantage point. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Notice Jesus mentions how the sheep are free to come and go, to find pasture…as long as it’s through the gate. Think this is something to pay attention to for the full life he’s talking about, but we’ll get to that a bit later. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The other important thing to note is that the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Going with the image of the fence, the thief is the sneaky one, trying to climb over the fence when the shepherd’s not paying attention. Scattering the sheep. So the question to think about here is what kinds of thieves do you face on a regular basis? What thieves are trying to scatter people away from knowing the voice of the Shepherd in Esquimalt? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">If we’re the representatives of Christ in our world, we need to pay attention to those things not only around us but that can potentially distract us from knowing the shepherd’s voice. What are the thieves around us, and how can we point people back to Jesus?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jesus the Good Shepherd<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="background: white;"><b><sup>11-13</sup></b>"I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary. A hired man is not a real shepherd. The sheep mean nothing to him. He sees a wolf come and runs for it, leaving the sheep to be ravaged and scattered by the wolf. He's only in it for the money. The sheep don't matter to him. <b><sup>14-18</sup></b>"I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me. In the same way, the Father knows me and I know the Father. I put the sheep before myself, sacrificing myself if necessary.”<o:p></o:p></div><div style="background: white;">Known by Christ, knowing Christ. Recognizing his voice requires a deep knowledge of what he sounds like, who he is. It’s like a child knowing the voice of her mom or dad, there’s comfort and rest in knowing your parent is near. Jesus makes sure to point out that he knows his sheep, he knows his people, he knows each person who is under his care. There’s some fullness right there, being known by the Shepherd, not neglected and not just a number. <o:p></o:p></div><div style="background: white;">Sacrifice is another key element that Jesus mentions here too. We know that Jesus has made that sacrifice, taking our weight of sin on him for the sake of our freedom. It’s also something that we need to be aware of for ourselves, because just like Peter in chapter 21, Jesus has some words for us as we seek to follow him.<o:p></o:p></div><div style="background: white;">John 21:15-19. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><b><sup><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">15</span></sup></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">After breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> "Yes, Master, you know I love you."<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> <b><sup>16</sup></b>He then asked a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> "Yes, Master, you know I love you."<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Jesus said, "Shepherd my sheep."<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> <b><sup>17-19</sup></b>Then he said it a third time: "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Peter was upset that he asked for the third time, "Do you love me?" so he answered, "Master, you know everything there is to know. You've got to know that I love you."<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I'm telling you the very truth now: When you were young you dressed yourself and went wherever you wished, but when you get old you'll have to stretch out your hands while someone else dresses you and takes you where you don't want to go." He said this to hint at the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. And then he commanded, "Follow me."<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="background: white;">Jesus’ commissioning of Peter is a commission to us as well. Jesus is the ultimate Good Shepherd, but we need to shepherd, feed, look after the sheep. Bring more along, point them to the Good Shepherd but why? All for what?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Abundant life:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Going back to that blog post I read, I think it’s important to recognize that Jesus didn’t do it all so that we can be comfortable, he said it himself, he came so that we can have abundant life, full life not mediocre, not basic, but FULL life. I think this “full life” means a number of things but here’s a few that stood out to me:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 54.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Freedom, from sin. Salvation is much more than just a transaction, it’s a call to action as well, a call to live the way Jesus showed us to because now we have the freedom to! Just like Paul reiterated in Galatians 5:</span><b><sup><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></sup></b><b><sup><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">13-15”</span></sup></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom.” </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Spilling over life, not just existing (sustenance). This kind of life is contagious, it’s the kind of thing that other people see and want to have a part in. This goes beyond just living, doing the everyday thing, to relying on the Good Shepherd for the things you need. Resting in the comfort of his care and following his lead through dark or tricky territory to find that pasture where he’s taking you. This kind of life has us looking towards the shepherd/leader and paying no attention to the danger around, relying on his sustaining presence to get us there. This kind of life might look somewhat crazy or frightening to those who don’t get it, but it’s the kind of life worth living. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 54.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eternity. Abundance also means that it will never end, this vibrant existence that Jesus provides us now in this life will be that much more full, spilling over, when all is said and done. The knowledge of eternity is a huge aspect of living abundantly now… if God is for us, who can be against us? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So what? I leave you with a question that I ask myself continuously…are you living abundantly? The Jesus kind of abundant? Depending on your answer to this question there are different ways to approach it. Ultimately, the way to this life is Jesus, he said it and he did it. He went to the cross to make this abundance possible, so if we are in need of it then the answer is Jesus. Dig into Scripture, find out for yourself who Jesus is and discover how to live abundantly. It’s only through him that we can live so freely, but not to just go and do whatever we feel like, to serve one another in love. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think that’s what we’re here for at Harbourview. I also think that’s what Cam and Candace are here to do for youth in Esquimalt. To love people, introduce them to Jesus and walk with them as our lives explode with fullness in Jesus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-72252186556610225322012-02-03T23:03:00.000-06:002012-02-03T23:03:58.719-06:00RenewalIt's Friday night and I am at home on my couch, by myself. How lame is that? My gorgeous wife is out with a friend tonight and I am somehow charged with bringing a message at church on Sunday morning so I am here thinking, praying, and reflecting on some things. Believe it or not this provides context for me to write another blog post and to declare that I will begin trying to be more regular with posting.<br />
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The reasons for me to write here again are twofold:<br />
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1) The last 6 months or so have been quite the challenge and I think it good to explore my thoughts in writing, with the accountability of other people possibly reading my words (it's more insightful that way...hopefully). AND<br />
2) I kinda miss it.<br />
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It is the "sermon" or "message" for this Sunday that brought me back to some posts from years ago when I was pastoring in Saskatchewan. Strangely enough, I am not a pastor now but these last number of months have been pivotal in my returning to church speaking. This weekend marks the first time since I was a pastor...some 4 years ago. The old shelves are dusty one might say.<br />
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In the process of digging out the treasures that are hidden in this jar of clay (which are still yet to be discovered I think), God has been working to restore some desires in me, like preaching/teaching and perhaps even consider vocational ministry again. It's interesting how this really rough transition to a new place would bring those desires to the surface and I can honestly say it's not just because my confidence has been shaken with being neglected for job opportunities. It is a real desire to serve in ways that I know I can and I know God has called me. Truth be told, I have not been super fond of the Big Guy in recent months, mostly because of the aforementioned lack of employment but even in the midst of roughness there is a woodworker bringing out the sand paper to make these edges smooth. I am looking forward to what is ahead and really do hope that some of it will involve a pay-cheque (for any American stragglers, that's paycheck), but even if it doesn't, I do know that what God is building in me in the meantime will be lasting and most certainly good.<br />
<br />
That will be it for now, the wife is coming home and bringing someone with her so I best be off to put some clothes on. However, these days I tend to have quite a bit of time on my hands even with applying for jobs, doing school work, volunteering and anything else I may find to fill my days. That in mind I will return to this place again, hopefully sooner than later, and will continue to tell the story of a life that is in the midst of resurrection...in more ways than one.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-88603345536639947892011-05-02T03:26:00.002-06:002011-05-02T04:26:28.761-06:00no title comes to mindI awoke from a dream as if some strange sense of reality had hit while I was asleep and my mind could not contain it any longer. There's a lot to ponder these days (and nights apparently) with changes arising yet again like a mountain stream in spring, it seems natural for spring to bring change I suppose. A year ago today I was enjoying the first night of slumber with my brand new wife and now I sit awake as she enjoys her sleep, thinking of the happiness and swift growth she has brought to this once dusty soil.<div><br /></div><div>I can think back and say that God really has put us together because we really are better together than we were alone, isn't that the way it's supposed to be with marriage? The contributions of the two should vastly outweigh that which one could once muster. I see this happening, but I also see tremendous potential in what could be as a result of this pairing that has truly come from God. I fear that I don't always live up to what I know is necessary as a husband, even so briefly into being one, when it comes to leading or sparking fires that should be lit as we go about our day to day. I want to be worthy of this gift of love that God has blessed me with and I don't think I'm always living up to it. Insecurity I suppose, that which has plagued me for centuries (were I immortal I'm sure it would be the case) has carried on into this thing that many of us in the Christian world see as the central part of existence on earth. Marriage that is. </div><div><br /></div><div>I remember dreaming of the day when I would no longer wonder what the face staring back at me would look like as I stood in front of family and friends to make that commitment. Of course now I see how beautiful she is, how kind and loving, truly breathtaking. But as I would picture being married (who knew that men would dream of such things, like a little girl might) I would have the naive belief that all things would change after that point. No longer would I be the insecure little child inside, no longer would the negative things that once held on be able to keep me in their grasp. While there may be some truth to it, ultimately it's not a woman (no matter how splendid as she certainly is) that can change a man's heart. I understand this, I know Christ makes the difference. I also know he uses people to see to his glorious work, without them even knowing it. This has all happened, indeed much has changed about me in all realms of life: physically, emotionally, spiritually. But as I reflect on things that can make me squirm a little, those old tendencies begin to crawl and produce more squirming than I would choose at times.</div><div><br /></div><div>You see, while I have experience a great deal of change over the course of time, one thing has remained the same since I left the nest some 10 years ago...upheaval. Yes with spring comes new life and growth, buds on trees (I hear it is happening in some places, yet to see it here), new babies in the animal kingdom, and often times a new sense of life for those who have endured a long winter as if in autopilot not unlike a bear in hibernation. Also with spring it seems comes a new sense of adventure and for me, a move from one place (be it a house or a city) to another. It has been a tiring 10 years for me in this way because as I consider the number of places I have lived and the number of times I have moved either near or far, I believe the total is 13 homes in 10 years. The longest stretch in one home for me has been the latest and it will have been 14 months when all is said and done. </div><div><br /></div><div>Yet again this spring the winds of change are blowing strong and soon 13 moves will become 14 and shortly thereafter 15. We're moving to a new location, a new settlement for myself but also for Amanda. Although she will be very familiar with her surrounding as it will be her home territory, it will be a new experience for her as a married woman seeking to find a nest where she can finally set up shop for the long haul. For me it will be a new place entirely, though quite familiar as a visitor I will be an unfamiliar resident. It's a move for family as we consider the future of our potential family, should we be so blessed. It's also a move for life as we seek to be better stewards of this creation that has been so brutally treated. A move for possible career paths as I embark on a new adventure in education and training for something that I feel compelled to study and hopefully continue to build on professional experience. It's also a bit of a move for sanity as the big city wears on these small town souls. </div><div><br /></div><div>While there are many great things to look forward to with the newness that arises, I can't help but face intimidation as there are certainly unknowns that accompany the adventure. Where will we live after move # 15? What will life look like in a place that one of us knows well but the other can barely picture? What jobs will we find that we can continue with over time? Will I succeed with a Masters degree in a discipline that is not my previous area of study? Will I be able to support a family, should it come in the next few years? Will I end well where I am now (recognizing it is not my strong suit)? Will I feel more isolated than ever before? Will I build new relationships? Will I be able keep some old ones? Do I have anything to contribute? Is it the wrong choice?</div><div><br /></div><div>The questions don't overwhelm me, they simply arise on occasion as a reminder that I do not control the outcome of life. I know the Creator maintains the world as His own, and nothing continues without His permission (to a point anyway), and I know that the notion of "call" is much broader than I once thought. The call on me and you is to preach Christ crucified, share in the resurrection and make it known to others through compassion and love by how we live and treat other people. My purpose is to testify to power of God's love that can make a vastly obese, insecure and depressed single pastor into a healthy husband who stands only by the strength of Christ in me to walk daily in a way that influences the beautiful gift of a wife He has given me and hopefully as a pair to influence the world around us. I see Christ in Amanda, in how she treats me and those she meets throughout her life. I want to see that in me and it has come to my attention that regardless of what I do vocationally, the call remains the same to be Christ in word and deed to everyone around me. No longer am I defined by a title or held down by a notion that comes from tradition more than truth that I must hold a certain "title" to be "where God wants me". That's a story for another time, perhaps in about a year when I sit down to write another entry. </div><div><br /></div><div>Regardless of what's next for us, though it is exciting and slightly scary all in one, my biggest concern right now is to not leave poorly. To remain where I am while I am here and to try to discover a way to live where I live and not where I am not. I realize that I have an abrupt nature at times and this comes out especially when I am "moving on" because simply don't know how to approach that type of situation. Where emotion can run high because of the positive influence that others have had but I may be afraid to make it known. I will miss many people here, but I fear that they won't miss me (the insecurity shows itself again) because I have caused them to no longer want to. </div><div><br /></div><div>I suppose it is part of the journey of life, when healing occurs there is something else that will surface that requires more healing. While I have once dealt with living in the past, thinking upon memories as better times, and neglecting the present. Perhaps now will be the time to face this struggle of not living in a picture of things to come while leaving the present behind too early. </div><div><br /></div><div>I awoke from a dream that caused me to ponder, hopefully I can return to slumber having done so for now. </div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-63224970265963271272010-04-13T08:52:00.003-06:002010-04-13T14:17:34.634-06:00The (second) move, for those who are curiousI posted an ambiguous status on Facebook last night indicating that I'm moving again, less than 2 months after moving into what I thought would be our first place as a married couple. Well as it turns out there are changes in the works that were not foreseen though possibly foreseeable. <div><br /></div><div>The rental market out there has a number options (in Calgary at least) for potential renters to consider before moving into a new place. We had chosen the current basement suite because it was cheaper than other alternatives in hopes to be able to save a bit more money, it's actually a pretty nice little unit for the price and all. We knew that it was not a legal suite (in fact, it seems that a number of suites aren't legal) but city inspectors have often turned a blind eye to those suites that aren't legal because of the rental market in Calgary (or as it has been in the past). With all that being said if someone complains to the city about a neighbouring property regarding the zoning, the city has to follow up. </div><div><br /></div><div>The issue with this suite was simply that it is a duplex not a single dwelling with a basement suite. An older couple next door, as we were to find out later, had caused some trouble for the current property owners by calling the police while they were doing some renovations inside the house...make sense? No, I didn't think so. Amanda came over after work one night last week and discovered a notice from the city of calgary stating that a complaint had been issued...guess who! </div><div><br /></div><div>The complaint was that there was more than one "dwelling" in the place, but the interesting part was that at the time the complaint was issued, I was the only official resident of the entire house. Methinks there are some nosey neighbours lurking about. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, the inspection happened and the landlords were instructed to remove the stove and bottom row of cabinetry in the kitchen and have the inspector back. Fair enough, it's not a legal suite and them's the rules. But the landlord's answer to it was to do so and then after the final inspection, put the kitchen cabinets and stove back in...and all of this while we are away getting married and honeymooning, so that it could all be replaced and like nothing ever happened when we came back. </div><div><br /></div><div>Not really the optimal option in my mind, so we took the opportunity to get the damage deposit back, find a new place and then move not only all of my stuff, but Amanda's stuff as well (or that which she hasn't moved in already) 3 days before we leave for our wedding. </div><div><br /></div><div>So that's the story, but with a happy ending (or what I think will be one) because we found a decent 2 bedroom condo with 2 bathrooms in a nicer neighbourhood and for an affordable price that I think will be a much better situation for us than my current place. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now...Who can help us move on the 24th of April?</div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-59037146757855728522009-06-28T07:52:00.002-06:002009-06-28T10:51:43.759-06:00Two Weeks In A RowI'm most impressed with myself that I've been able/willing to sit down and excrete the happenings of my mind two weeks in a row. I think weekly is frequent enough because often whatever it is that I am thinking lasts a number of days so there wouldn't be much to write if I were to do so more often. Although I may not stick to this weekly thing for long, I think it's ideal. <div>The pressing issue on my mind this time around has to do with a pretty big change that's coming up. When I moved back to Calgary a year ago I had every intention of beginning my graduate studies and following through to completion in a relatively compacted timeline (relatively because it was always going to be a year longer than the technical length of the program) and while I still have every intention to finish my degree it may end up taking a little longer than originally anticipated. Of course things change, plans change over time. There have been a number of things that have been introduced into my life that I certainly did not anticipate and yet another one of those things will be taking place very soon. </div><div>Not all that long ago I was introduced (the way of introduction is not important at this time) to a woman that has quickly become very important to me and with whom I can see a pretty incredible future. That was something that I did not even imagine could, let alone would, happen within a year of returning to school to regroup. I have spent much time wondering, asking God what I did to merit such beautiful person inside and out in my life. But that old saying about looking a gift horse in the mouth may apply here (though she's nothing like a horse, hear me rightly). It's more a matter of simply being thankful for the progression that God has seen fit to give my life in the last year, which I did not think would ever come. </div><div>Another event that is soon coming will certainly change life for me as I exit the life of a church janitor into something a little more people oriented. I actually have no problem whatsoever with custodial services, I in fact enjoy being able to complete a list of tasks in a day, there's a certain satisfaction that comes along with it and I also think that it has been the perfect job for me in this last year as I have been able to disappear to do my work in the vast expanse of the church building and think upon all of the things I have struggled with for many years and to yell and scream and cry at God because of those things and to unintentionally hear Him out in the process. It's been pretty great in that respect. There are other things (mainly just one person and the disasterous wake he leaves behind him) that I have not really enjoyed.</div><div>Moving on from that, as I will be quickly, I'm very excited and grateful to be moving into a job that is something I feel will be very good for me in many ways. It's a bit more of a career move for me, which going from a pastor to a janitor may not have been quite as much. I'm very excited to be going in this particular direction. I will leave the actual job a secret for now, though there are a number of people who know, it's yet to be a complete process so I just want to be fair with it all. I will get to work with people again, building relationships to a certain degree and travelling a bunch as well. All things that I enjoy. And I look forward to the work environment as well, I think it will be quite a positive move. </div><div>Again, a year ago, these things were not even in the back of my mind, let alone the forefront. I thought I would be a single janitor working on his masters degree for the next three years and then life would begin to change afterwards. I guess some surprises are great to run with and some don't seem to be, but they probably still are good to run with, because what else are you going to do? Resistance is futile. </div><div>I suppose I could write more interesting things, but this is what's on my mind. I could be like someone I know who wrote about an experience she had whilst walking, seeing a woman twice who then disappeared, but that wouldn't really be news, women have oft disappeared after seeing me twice...oh burn on me. just kidding I know I'm one hot piece of man flesh. </div><div>Until we meet again.</div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-48349263995130061882009-06-21T08:44:00.004-06:002009-06-21T10:53:03.363-06:00It's been a long timeWell, I'm sitting at the desk where I check my e-mail and goof off on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">facebook</span> while I'm at work (I'd say it's my desk, but it's not, it's someone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">else's</span> that I just use when they're not here) and I realized that I have not written a blog entry for a while. Now this wasn't a personal revelation so much as it was a reminder from a certain lady friend of mine that I haven't placed my thoughts in word form on this page for a while. <div>I think I'll write about something to do with church this time, I know I never do this so bear with me as I try...</div><div>As a result of a few significant conversations with different people in recent weeks I thought it would be good to get out some thoughts that have been rolling around in my mind for a while now so that I don't forget them and so they don't disappear. This past year has been quite a transition for me, out of a pastoral position where I thought I would be for at least another 5 years, out of being a super duper fat kid to just being a regular fat kid now, out of some pretty serious emotional and spiritual issues, into a masters degree (which has been going surprisingly well), into a relationship with a pretty incredible lady, and into some deep thoughts upon the state of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">christianity</span> in my part of the world. </div><div><br /></div><div>There's probably more to say about the transition of the last year, but I'll leave it at that for now, it's a lot of transition and a lot of unexpected experiences. I've had the opportunity to be a part a few different churches in my lifetime, two of which have employed me on varying levels. These two particular churches are essentially polar opposites in many ways and when I think about either one I get that "grass is always greener" feeling. One is a fairly substantial size and runs based on a business model and the other is slightly less substantial in size and operates in a smaller community where the "business" style of church just wouldn't fly. One has a book of policies and the other has pot lucks, one has strategic 1, 3 and 5 year Plans and the other plans ahead almost on month by month basis. They are clearly polar opposites in how they operate, it just causes me to think. It's interesting how different bodies can thrive in different environments. While my personal experience is thus far limited to a couple specific churches, it seems to me from books that I read, people I talk to and things that I hear that this could be said about pretty much all churches all over the place, they're different and they "cater" to a different type of crowd. </div><div>I've been finding myself asking a lot of questions about the way "we" operate as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">christians</span> in churches. Some questions are as simple as "why?" and others are a little more complex as they seek to discover motive and purpose behind certain things. A friend of mind said the other day that the purpose for the general "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">sunday</span> morning service" is simply to get people in the seats and stick an offering basket in front of them so they'll give. Harsh? maybe, but unfortunately it's all too often more true than not. </div><div>Perhaps one who might read the lengthy blogs of my recent history would find me to be a cynic, or bitter, I do not desire to be that or to come across that way, it's not bitterness that drives me it's a disconnect from what is and what perhaps should be. Clearly I'm not perfect in my assumptions or ideas, in fact I will venture to say that I'm dead wrong in some of my thoughts and feelings toward the "church" in general and even in some of my theology, but that is something that is true of us all regardless of whether we would like to think so or not. </div><div>That being said, I do believe there is at least some merit to what I'm saying. </div><div>I've written before of asking questions of the existing structure of church, questioning the integrity of some organizations and leaders and ultimately the true motivation behind the modern day "church". Is it really to spread the "good news?" (I know I use "quotations" a lot). </div><div>This leads me to my next question...what exactly is the message that is getting across to those we say we want to "reach"? Is it really the love of Jesus and the power of salvation found only in him? or is it something else entirely?</div><div>I caught myself wondering/thinking the other day how much <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">christians</span> have contributed to the culture of disbelief (I don't like the word "unbelief" because it makes those who don't prescribe to Christ sound like less human or something). Some might be offended that a person would even bring up such a blasphemous idea (or what some might consider to be so), but I think it's a legitimate question. The very first CD I ever owned, before I even had a CD player to be able to listen to it, was Jesus Freak by DC Talk which I won in grade 7 for burping the alphabet in one continuous belch, impressive I know. On that album, as a part of one of the tracks they had a quote from someone, I don't know who because the album cover is not in front of me but here's how it goes: "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." Apparently that was Brennan Manning who said it, but i just looked it up to find that out. </div><div>Anyway, I'm sure many have heard it, and many might even agree with it, but I think I would take it to another level. I would venture to say that beyond denying Christ by our lifestyles, there is a certain distaste for the "christian empire" that seems to be continually being built. It's almost as if power, money, fame and success is being sought by those who are "leading" instead of humility, generosity, service, and other such things that may go along with it. I wrote a paper for one of my classes this year on the affect of the evangelical church on North American culture, and the reciprocation therein. What I discovered was somewhat alarming but not really at the same time. People who were turned off by the success driven nature of many from the "boomer" generation who made a profession out of their faith. Perhaps this kind of thing causes people not to necessarily become atheists, but more agnostic or even simply anti-christian in their beliefs because they don't want to become like what they've seen "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">christians</span>" being. </div><div>That's a rant that I didn't intend to delve into but I'm alright with it. </div><div>The stuff that's really on my mind has more to do with church reflecting the nature of Jesus Christ instead of broken humanity. I know there will always be an element of brokenness because we are not perfect and we cannot therefore represent the perfection that is Jesus' love. We can however back away from striving to achieve success in the 'evangelical empire' and seek to reflect the love of Christ in what we do and say. The question i am asking these days is more like "what if" instead of the "why". What if there was a community of believers who existed on purpose without a building in which to meet? What if the leader didn't rely on the congregation for a pay check (though there's nothing wrong with doing so, it's biblical, it's all good)? What if they didn't meet every <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">sunday</span> to "worship" like you see with regular churches? What if teaching came through e-mail or blog or a video feed online? What if the weekly "service" was actually serving somewhere in the community? What if the fellowship of believers happened on a daily basis through relationships and "small group" type settings in people's homes? What if the focus of the community was discipleship (including biblical teaching, prayer, worship, etc.)? What if a group of people abandoned the traditional form of "church" and sought to be a Christ-like community? What if people could be the church without having a "church"?</div><div><br /></div><div>These aren't questions that seek to destroy what currently exists as church communities or to defame them, instead they seek to discover what a fellowship of believers is and should look like that may not include all of the elements found in what we currently know as church. I'm sure communities like this exist already, and probably even well known ones, but this is where my mind is at these days. </div><div>I do not want to be the kind of person who tries to deconstruct or tear down the thoughts or ideas or practices of others, rather I want to be the kind of person who honestly seeks truth and if some people or ideas are found to be a little or a lot off base, that is really not my concern. Truth is what I seek, Christ is who I seek. </div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-62323965885645778732009-03-10T09:08:00.005-06:002009-03-24T10:42:18.867-06:00Freedom<div>Today in my Christianity and Culture class, we're going through the typology of a guy named Jacque Ellul who lived entirely within the 20th century, he died in 1984. He writes a lot on technology and what he calls "technique." Technique is essentially an overarching rule or law that arises from the human drive to better technology and increase the "quality of life." The problem with technique is that it ends up controlling how a person lives, and even those (in Ellul's mind) who try to fight it ultimately in their resistence produce a new form of "technique." The logic follows and he does come up with some solutions, basically to fight against what is seen as "necessity", those things society views as essential to life, to live simply. This of course is within the context of a technological society, where he found himself. </div><br /><div>Ellul claims that freedom only comes when one refuses to allow this "necessity" to control their life. Whether all of his train of thought is impervious to rebuttal is moot, my thoughts from this discussion stem from the point of freedom being apart from this "necessity."</div><br /><div>I am caught in this idea. Freedom. Is that not what so many people desire? Is that not what we teach in church? One may argue that freedom is really only found in Christ, I would not disagree.</div><br /><div>In fact, I think that's what Ellul is trying to get at ultimately. His plea is for the "Church" to actually reflect a Christ community, instead of being driven by success or what people view as success, to discover that Christ was actually showing us how to be free from the "system" of society. Jesus challenged the Pharisees to do that, and unfortunately the more experience I have with "Church" the more I see similar attitudes to those of the Pharisees of the New Testament.</div><br /><div>I also see people whose genuine desire is to see Christ glorified in everything they do and exist in the "necessary evil" of the evangelical world as it is right now because that is our current existence. </div><br /><div>I long for freedom. I long for personal freedom in every way, not to do whatever I feel like doing but to be released from this notion of "technique" that seems to have been forced upon me by a generation that has become separated from the culture in which it exists.<br /><br />I have come back to this post after a couple weeks have passed and in the same class (you may think that because I'm writing that I'm not paying attention, it's actually because I'm paying attention that I write) and today we are discussing postmodernity. That all too nauseating term that has been said and fought for a number of years now. However sickening one may become from hearing the term, I think it would be irresponsible to neglect the present existence in this place and time.<br /><br />Postmodernity is basically the context in which we live here in Canada and the US. Much of Europe I think would probably even fall into it as well, though my understanding/knowledge of Europe is very limited. A big question that arises when this topic surfaces has to do with the whole notion of Truth, that which is absolute, or not. Those who have been raised in modernity struggle and fight against the thought of postmodernity denying absolutes, especially when it comes to truth. It's scary for them, for who see the truth of Scripture and Jesus Christ as something that must be exactly as they have understood it in order for their faith to remain.<br />I love truth, it's nice to have a foundation like that, but how can it be a foundation if it is merely a perspective and not reality. I think that's what the main issue is, denying individual perspectives and seeking what simply is. The problem with postmodernity is that it seems to be a pendulum swing that is merely opposing that which has previously existed, going from one extreme to another. The problem with modernity is that simply holds on to that "absolute" that they have been engrained with because if that breaks down, their faith is ruined. The concept of truth, as modernity sees it, is a nice concept that allows those who hold to it not to think about it, basically taking it for granted.<br /><br />I don't want to be a cynic on this issue, it's just something that I'm thinking about. I think the "structure" can be abandoned without losing the reality of Christ. I think the "absolutes" that modernity is so afraid of losing can be questioned without Jesus Christ being kicked out His position as King. Ultimately, it's the structure that has become the technique which Ellul spoke so much of. Modernity and it's style has become technique, postmodernity seeks to question the technique, in search of something is more flexible. But for Ellul, this too will become technique. The freedom is found in relationship, with God and with people. Freedom may be subjective for some, but it's what many long for, being released from the "necessity" of life is what will free us in our faith and action. It may not make sense, that's ok, I'm not sure I understand it completely.<br /></div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-2113604271846769732009-02-20T16:39:00.001-06:002009-02-20T16:39:14.644-06:00Lego in a Graduate Class<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/dCZEpx1YIxk' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/dCZEpx1YIxk'/></object></p><p>this is what we've learned in our module class this week.</p></div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-41356135806999412122009-01-30T12:50:00.003-06:002009-02-03T11:54:35.472-06:00On the relevance of the church.<div>This is not my first time to vomit my thoughts on the Church around here, and I'm willing to guess that it won't be the last, considering what I've been thinking about recently. </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>I am considering the question of whether or not the church is relevant to our culture today in North America (or perhaps the Western World). The more I think about it, the more I'm beginning to wonder if that is a question we should really be asking of the Church (that is, the church universal). Furthermore, I really don't think that relevance is what we need at this point in time. In fact, come to think of it, I really don't think that relevance is that we need at all, ever. </div><br /><div>Ultimately I think the question we need to be asking ourselves as those who claim to serve Christ, and as the community that makes the same claim, has more to do with how are we representing Christ and portraying Him to the world around us instead of whether or not people care about what the church is doing, or if we are "reaching the lost".</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>Now, before you go getting your gitch all twisted up and angry at me even thinking such a thing, top and think for a minute what I'm actually trying to say. What I am trying to say, but perhaps my words fail to do so is that it seems to me that for a number of years there has been a "holy obsession" (that which people think is right an honorable, but may not in fact be so) with being "relevant" to our culture in what we do and say. We try to translate what we believe into terms that we think will be easier to understand for those who don't know what Jesus is, and making sure that our services are "seeker sensitive" or appealing to the masses, who simply look for some sort of polish on production. </div><br /><div>Even certain "movements" in the Christian world, like the "emerging church"or the call to be "missional" seem to fall into this sort of people pleasing system of carrying out teaching and essentially some sort of more positive image for the Church. </div><br /><div>But even this I think falls short of what it is that we are indeed actually called to be as those who have inherited that Child of God status. I guess what I'm really wondering about any specific church movement or icon is who they/we are trying to please or what they/we are trying to actually accomplish.<br /><br />The deconstruction of the church has happened before. I'm wondering if that's what is needed and indeed what is beginning to happen among some communities. Has the "Evangelical Church" begun to show some evidences of being like the Roman Catholic Church of the pre-reformation period? This is an honest question. The very idea of it disturbs me, but I can't help be wonder if there is some truth to it. If that is indeed at least partially true, then what should be our response?<br />I exist as a part of a denominational system that I support but I also question. There are certain aspects of the training and the organization structure that grate on me. I can't reconcile the current system with what I see as a New Testament church ideal. I believe there needs to be education for those who desire to be pastors, I also believe that pastors should be held accountable to what they are teaching and their personal theology, but I think that the present process is seriously flawed.<br />For the Christian and Missionary Alliance there are two significant current steps that one must go through, Accreditation and Ordination. Of course only men can complete both. Woman are permitted to be accredited but not ordained. There is a fundamental flaw here, but that can be discussed elsewhere. It seems to me that this is just an institutional form of control, based upon a man-made system that inevitably fails to maintain the standard it has set for itself. Women are denied access to leadership because of it, and some men are denied leadership because they don't say the right things.<br />This is just a small example of the problem of institution. I am not criticizing my denomination, I am however stating the issues that exist.<br /><br />So I revert to my earlier question, who is it that we are serving? Is it people who don't seem interested in what the "church" is doing or saying or who are interested but are against it? Or is it the God who created us to be in community with each other, to love and serve others, especially those who are in need. There are indeed people who are in line with what God desires, but I wonder how many of us are missing the point.<br /><br /></div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-43261358507111632582009-01-17T23:38:00.002-06:002009-01-18T00:00:22.972-06:00Sometimes I wanna go where everybody knows my nameI'm cleaning out my closet right now and that's not some metaphorical jargon, it's literal. I'm cleaning out my closet because basically every box full of stuff that I have has been stashed in my closet for the last 8 months. I'm doing this in preparation for the new bed that is arriving for me tomorrow, my Christmas gift from my roommates ( I am still pretty blown away that they'd get me something like that) and I want to make my room into something of an actual bedroom instead of a den for hibernation on a nightly basis. Or as Jessy would put it, I'm trying to make it more "welcoming" but that's another topic for another day.<br />I came across a box of stuff that my parents sloughed off on me in the summer time, old stuff of mine from when I still lived at home that they no longer wanted to store for me, though I maintain they have much more space than I at this point in time. I know there are others but the first one I opened had a mish-mash of papers and trophies and stuff from high school and college days. Most of it was old receipts and student records from school, as well as some old Christmas cards and whatnot. But the stuff that got me thinking back to days gone by (some people in this position would say "better days" I'm sure, but I don't agree with such an assessment, life gets better as it progresses, in my opinion) was a pile of birthday cards and notes and such from friends who have played a pretty big role in my formation.<br />It's not just because there was bounty of birthday cards, which I rarely receive in abundance anymore (also made me think of the fast approaching birthday blues I will be sure to have in a week's time), but it was what was said in a lot of these cards and notes that made me think.<br />Words that were tossed around about my character, or apparent character at the time made me wonder if those same words could be used to describe me now.<br />Words and ideas like "reliable" or "safe" or "caring" or even "godly" surfaced more than once and caused me to wonder if that could be a description of me now.<br />I really hope so, that's definitely a concoction of descriptors that I don't want to lose. But even shifting the focus off of myself, the people who wrote those notes are people that I don't want to lose or forget.<br />Of course, it is a number of years later and lives have all changed as have some of those relationships grown distant, but at the same time they have that aspect of "picking up where we left off" whenever we meet. I like that. It's a good thing if you ask me. People change, lives change, relationships change, but they don't always have to finish completely. I can look back and remember how different people have contributed to my life and hopefully vice-versa.<br />Most of those people have moved on to be married and some to have children, and it's fun to see them now and remember them then, to see how they've changed and how they're the same.<br /><br />I guess in a sense this is a sort of Thank You to those who have been a part of my life experience thus far, some more than others and some in different ways than others. I think if anyone is reading this chances are you're one of those people. I appreciate the relationships that we've had, even though it likely wasn't perfect, and I probably caused some frustration or anger, or hurt or have been frustrated or angry or hurt, I appreciate it nonetheless.<br />I guess I am discovering how wealthy I really am, obviously not monetarily speaking. But then again, who reads these things anyway?Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-32935639520212667892009-01-14T23:31:00.003-06:002009-01-15T00:11:15.363-06:00Read it and weep...I'm sitting here in my living room, it's 10:30 at night, I got home from youth a little while ago and I've been introspective tonight, as I usually become when I feel I don't have the grace needed to show it to those around me. It's of course not from someone else doing something, just simply I'm not in the proper frame of mind to handle things that I don't want to. So I withdraw and think upon the issues, I should converse with God in the midst of it but recently I can't say that's my first instinct.<br />But tonight as I squirm in my skin at the thought of how I can be and think upon what's going on, it came to mind that I should simply approach the throne of grace in my time of needing grace.<br />I find it far easier to understand the grace of God for others than I do for me. One can commit the most heinous of crimes and I can see the need for God's grace in that person's life and am more than willing to express that to them (of course it's hypothetical, I've not known anyone to commit what I might consider "heinous" crimes) but find it hard to grasp this concept for my own life. That God would have grace and mercy on me is almost beyond my comprehension.<br />But as I sit here, thinking about grace, I thought it necessary to read something from Scripture in hopes that I may hear some whisper from the Almighty.<br /><br />I traveled through the short book of 1 John, mainly because it's short, but also because I remember talking about it with someone recently though I don't remember the context of the discussion. Though the thought came to me with no real connection to the text, a connection would come eventually. I couldn't help but wonder how in the world so many hateful crimes, eras, people and occasions could be developed in the midst of something so symphonic in nature. What I mean to say is that I am completely taken aback by all of the things that can be traced back to someone's interpretation of the Bible, that have destroyed lives throughout history in such a negative tone.<br />Of course, when one doesn't know how to properly interpret Scripture, context is destroyed and the message skewed, but it's troublesome for me to think about how often hate has come from a message so full of love, one that calls a person to a life that is generous and giving and not leeching.<br />It even causes me to try to grasp how so many places that claim to be the "body of Christ" are in practice the very opposition of what they claim to be. I don't believe that I'm jaded...well not on church as a whole anyway. That is, I haven't had bad experience with "church" to give me some sort of bitter outlook on it. But like I said, I don't believe that I'm jaded, I am simply disturbed by the seemingly vast numbers of people who show up to churches in North America on weekends or even during the week for the sake of tradition or ritual and completely miss the point. It causes my heart to ache.<br />How has the one place that should be welcoming and inviting to those who feel like they don't deserve the very breath inside them because of something they've done to someone else or themselves become the place that scares them away? How has "church" become the place where people put on their "sunday best" and paint on a smile, in hopes that people won't find out how screwed up their lives really are? How has the support network of true "Christian" fellowship turned into the breeding ground for distasteful humor and gossip that destroys?<br /><br />It's around here that the connection to 1 John started to become more clear to me. This is a letter written to instruct a group of people (it's not entirely clear what group) on what it looks like, practically, to follow Christ and what love really means. As I read 1 John and think upon many church communities that I have experienced and some that I've heard of, the two pictures don't seem to line up with one another.<br />I starting to believe that "institution" as many know has no place within the parameters of the faith. It's not a matter of institution or rules or religiosity, it's a matter of life. If, according to 1 John, the evidence of God in our lives is to love others.......how many of us really can say that God is in us?<br />I'm terrified to admit that there are times when my life is completely or near completely devoid of that presence.<br />So if evidence of God in our lives is to love others, should our "churches" not be the very place that sin can be openly brought to light (of course, there are definitely things that don't need to be shared with an entire congregation, in fact it's not healthy to do so. But I am speaking as a matter of general principle) without fear of disownment or verbal abuse or hatred?<br />I think it's the "holier than thou" attitude that I am addressing...it can't exist if we are living as true biblical communities, it just can't. But alas, it seems to.<br /><br />I honestly grieve over this thought and certainly hope to contribute in a positive manner to the shift that I believe needs to take place, not giving into the lie of "saving face".<br /><br />It is for these reasons that I really appreciate some of Derek Webb's solo musical work, for he writes the words of my heart on this issue. take a look at his songs "New Law" and "King and a Kingdom" and you'll understand what I mean.<br /><br />People may not read this, but it's now officially a burden that I do not carry inwardly.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-5496630553194722932008-09-14T08:26:00.002-06:002008-09-14T09:03:01.147-06:00Are you ever bothered by the state of your life? I don't mean circumstance, because a lot of times what's happening around us has little to do with us making it happen, (ie. death of a friend or family member, someone visiting unexpectedly, catching a cold from someone at work, etc.).<br />I mean the state of affairs that you have clearly and undeniably caused in your own life. Whether good or bad, the "idea of making your own bed" (I will skip the "lying in it" part for now) is what I'm talking about. We can read books, watch movies, even hear stories from the lives of other people of either desperation in difficult moments brought on by self destruction or moments of greatest where people rise to an occasion, sometimes even repeatedly.<br />Perhaps it's even something that you can think back on your life and recognize having done something like that. My question this morning that I'm asking myself is this...what causes a person to do such a thing (put him/herself in a position, whether good or bad)?<br />Why do I make decisions that will hurt me in the end, even if I know what the result will be before I even do it?<br />Or why do I work hard at something and see the benefit?<br />I think the answer to the latter is pretty simple. We want to see good things happen in our lives, and that's not a bad thing. It's great to strive to greatness, so long as it's not at the cost of humility.<br />I think the answer to the former is also relatively simple though not easily accepted (I think that's really what I'm thinking on today). We do stupid things, I do stupid things, because I'm stupid. Too crass? Perhaps, but basically true I think. What I mean is, we make decisions that aren't the best for us in the end sometimes because we honestly think that the outcome will turn out well, but sometimes I think it's simply because we're stupid. We allow the sinister voice in our minds (call it what you will) to convince us to do wrong, even if we know the outcome will not serve us well in the end. That's sin, it's in our fallen nature. Obviously the Bible talks much about this portion of humanity that Jesus seemed to be able to fight much more holistically than we are able to without divine intervention.<br />So I revert back to the original question...do you ever find yourself bothered by the state of your life? I do. Currently I am.<br />Unfortunately I think that part of why I am so bothered is because I fell culprit to the tendency of pride. Striving for greatness for greatness sake, to be lifted up as the great and awesome ME. It stings to realize something so harsh of oneself. Often we don't want to admit to being arrogant or full of pride (unhealthy pride, sinful pride), but at the same time it's all too oft the pride that causes us to blind ourselves from it.<br />I think I fell prey to the "sin of grandiosity" as one professor/friend of mine so eloquently worded it. Basically, I want to be great for my name's sake. To become the greatest of pastors because I want people to look to me. It's sickening when I think about it, that I could use such a privileged position (not earned by any means) to try to make something of myself.<br />Now, being that I'm still 25, and Jesus didn't even enter into full on ministry until he was 30ish, hopefully this is an immaturity thing that will shift as I grow older. It may very well be, but if I don't recognize it and learn to battle it, it can very easily become a monster that lurks beneath the surface of everything I do (similar to the theme of Andy Stanley's book "What Lies Beneath", incredible book if you ever get the chance to read it).<br />Those who know me well know that I have a tendency to be my worst critic, and I won't disagree. I can be a little harsh on myself sometimes. But in this particular instance, I don't see it as being harsh so much as honest. It's something that I'm not pleased with at all. I don't want to become the person who strives for great things in life simply because I want the enjoyment of them or because I want people to like me, or because I want to become a 'sage' of some sort to whom all people look for advice.<br />I think John Eldredge stated it well in his book "The Way of the Wild Heart" (also worth reading) when he mentioned that the position of "King" (essentially the noble leadership to which mostly more progressed people are assigned, ie. senior pastor) should not be desired, it should be something that a person is lead or pushed by God into. If it's something you desire, than you're not likely ready for it, if it's something you recognize you can't achieve by your own merit, then your heart is right for the job with the aid of the Father.<br />So why am I bothered by the state of my life right now? Mainly because I have allowed things to fester within me without dealing with them, without repenting of them, and without handing myself fully over to be healed and renewed by God for quite some time. I have coasted, I have not lived. I have become arrogant in some ways, allowing pride to dictate my actions.<br />It's hard to relinquish control, it's hard to lay it all out on the table.<br />I am challenged this morning by a sermon I heard last night on the commandment of God to have no other gods but Him.<br />Is it possible to deify yourself and place yourself before God? Yes, and I think that's the biggest problem that a lot of us have. Some are just more apt to battle it than others.<br />I'm pretty selfish, and I'm not a fan of that. It comes out in a lot of what I do, others may see it, or they may not, but I see it and God sees it, and that is why I'm bothered.<br />So what's the solution? Do something about it. Seek out the Father, turn myself over to Him, relinquish control (continually, which is a struggle) and walk in faith that what He says He'll do, He'll do.<br />And to prove that I really am as selfish as I say I am, this is all written for my sake, not for anyone else's. So that I can come back and read this again later and remember the situation again. Also so I can process at this moment all that is happening.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-4503105478406989452008-09-11T00:25:00.002-06:002008-09-11T01:04:34.505-06:00Can't SleepI occasionally find myself awake at night, my mind and body refusing to shut down for much needed rest, tonight is no exception.<br />I have also found some solace in the spewing of words and thoughts into this particular page, knowing that it's not just some secret place to hide everything, but just the potential even one person reading this means that it's no longer locked in my heart.<br />I don't know nor can I begin to understand the strangeness of releasing thoughts into oblivion and the comfort that it provides.<br />Of course, I'm quite confident that there are few who even stumble across this page anymore, but it's the action, not the audience, that counts in these instances.<br /><br />Perhaps I'm just not tired, but I don't think that's the case. Perhaps I ate something strange and it's affecting my sleep pattern this evening, but again, I doubt it's relevance. Especially because of the pattern that I'm discovering arises on occasion for periods of time where I don't sleep well.<br />But I've also been dreaming, in the short instances that I do slip off into an unconscious realm. That may not seem strange, but I don't normally remember my dreams, nor do those that I do remember contain recurring themes or characters, and that's what's happening.<br /><br />Anyway, regardless of reason, I can't sleep tonight, and I just need to write something, anything, hopefully to deter my thoughts from keeping me awake all night.<br />I have to admit, I have struggled with the changes that have come my way in the last while. Not with right or wrong choices or anything like that, but simply adjusting to circumstance.<br />I'm in a place that is full of people, a city of over a million people, and yet I still feel as isolated as the "survivorman" when he finds his way through the wilderness of some remote region of the earth.<br />This is to nobody's fault in particular, I think it's just a matter of adjusting well, which I have not been able to do.<br />I'm bothered by much these days, by things in my own character that are flawed and need work. About my current relationship with the Almighty. About my current views of the opposite (and finer) gender, and many other things that could probably fall in an "in between" category.<br />I suppose ultimately I see myself as inadequate in all of these situations. Somehow not quite reaching some unattainable standard that I've placed in my mind for everything in life.<br />I have a tendancy towards placing high expectations upon myself, too high. Not that one shouldn't strive for excellence in everything, but one most certainly shouldn't expect perfection, because that is simply not possible.<br />I feel inadequate, or even that I've missed something when it comes to regular intimacy with God. That somehow I have to have been sinless for a period of time, or that I need to put on some sort of persona just to say 'hello'. Of course in my mind I know that this is absurd to think because it's just simply not true and there are passages of Scripture to support it, not to mention personal experience to over rule my thought processes.<br />When it comes to other people, I feel that I must reach a certain quota of acts of kindness or service to merit friendship. Also absurd.<br />I think ultimately with these two areas, it's more a matter of acceptance that God loves unconditionally. And that people don't always expect something in return for kindness. That perhaps they even want me around.<br />This isn't me airing dirty laundry, just simply shortcomings that I'm wrestling with right now.<br />When it comes to fast approaching seminary classes, I'm terrified that I won't be able to keep up, or that I won't comprehend what is being thrown at me.<br />When it comes to relationships in general, I fear that I don't measure up.<br /><br />I think really, behind all of the aformentioned issues in my mind is a strong desire to skip ahead in life. What I mean is, I don't want to climb the mountain, I just want to be at the top. I don't want to have to put in the work to get the result, the sinful nature within me just wants what I wants and I wants it now!<br />I don't want to have to go through stretching periods of growth where I have to realign myself with truth and Savior if I've found myself off track.<br />I don't want to have to push myself beyond the door of my house to get acquainted and reaquainted with people of like mind. I don't want to have to work at friendships, new and old.<br />I don't want to have to work at getting into the "groove" of school work.<br />I don't want to have to put myself on the line the mend broken friendships, or to do so to introduce the possibility of romance into my life...<br />With all of these things there is an annoying little voice in the back of my mind that constantly says "just give up, it's not worth it", and I recognize the need to ignore and destroy such a thought. But there is a much greater voice that tells me that it is only through danger and toil that one can really thrive.<br />These are all the dangers and toils of my life right now, they will change, they will intensify, and down the road I may even reminisce and wish for the days when my only fears were of failing a class of being rejected. But, as for now, I need to face the current situation with resolute passion to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if there may not seem to be one right now.<br /><br />So now, I will retreat back to my pillow and pray that with sleep God will calm my soul tonight, and with love to wake me up with a fresh view of what's ahead.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-6496302491337205062008-05-21T13:37:00.002-06:002008-05-22T11:51:33.913-06:00Brain FartingI'm sitting in my office, that will only actually be my office for a few more days...10 to be exact. Since I have so little time left, there's not really much that I have to do. And those things that I can do aren't really doable during regular office hours cause students are in school and most people are at work.<br />With all that's happening these days, I find that I need to release thoughts out of my head so that I don't go nuts.<br />I picked up a new vehicle the other day from one Mike Schalin. I'm pretty excited about driving some new wheels, mostly because I've been looking at getting a new car for a while now and it's actually happened. It's newer and nicer than my former car, and actually probably than any other car I've ever had. Though I must admit that it wouldn't have been possible to reach that point in vehicular greatness were it not for the incredible anonymous gift from a church goer in Calgary whilst I was on internship of a free car. That car held much appreciation with it, unfortunately it got totaled in an accident a few years back, otherwise I'm sure I'd still be driving it today (the accident was of no fault of mine).<br />This new car, however, represents a lot more than just me styling and profiling in a hardcore station wagon. It represents a new beginning in a sense, with a move to another province, to a city that I once called home and will soon be doing so again.<br />After months of sleepless nights (not literally, though darn close) and a ton of asking other (God, friends, colleagues, that guy in the 7/11) what it is that I'm supposed to be doing and unbelievable internal struggle as to what my purpose in my current church and ministry and even in future ministries is and should be, it came to a very difficult conclusion to head back into the land of academia and seek out higher education.<br />This is such a bittersweet existence right now as I walk through a number of "lasts" here in North Battleford and look towards something that I'm really not sure how all will turn out. While I've always been open about my personal feelings towards this place as a choice to live it wouldn't be my number one, there is more than just location to be considered. Something I'm only learning now is how attached I have become to this place with all it entails. Of course it's always people that make a place endearing, I've learned to love people here.<br />I've really learned to love my students, and I can call them that, they're mine (you're mine!) ha. Not because of some strange obsession or anything like that, but simply because I have invested so much in them and they in me I feel a sense of attachment to them greater than just youth and youth leader. They are my friends, my students, in a very real sense those whom I've served.<br />As I sifted through all of the thank you notes and gifts received from the farewell that was held for me, of course being who I am, I shed a few tears and certainly laughed at some of the comments made. But more than anything I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of unworthiness. It's hitting me hard today, it's such a privilege to be given a position of spiritual leadership. I think I've known that in my head before but it's really sinking in today. It's incredible the responsibility that it is but it's by no means a right. I haven't earned it, it doesn't matter how much school I go through, how many years of experience, how much I got paid before, none of it matters, it's something that for whatever reason God has placed on my heart to do and has given me the chance to do it.<br />I think that's what should and does hold many pastors accountable to their task, not any rules or regulations (though many like to think such is the case), it's not other people (though important) it's the simple and immense gift of God that most certainly should keep us in place.<br />Sadly, even in my own experience, we don't always get it. Somehow a pastor can lose perspective and forget that his position is a privilege not a right. And that's when things begin to happen within that person that may very easily cause big problems. I've been caught in this before and I pray that it will not happen again.<br />As I inch closer and closer to moving back to Calgary there is sorrow in my heart because of leaving a place I've grown to appreciate and leaving people for whom I care deeply. At the same time there is a sense of wonder and excitement for what's to come in the near future. I think it's going to be much harder getting used to Calgary this time than it was the first time. I think there is going to be some struggle settling back in there, especially knowing that it's likely going to be very different than it was before, and many of the people I was close to while there in the past have either moved onto other places or I've drifted from them. There's apprehension and anticipation in this move.<br />I guess that's about all that's running through my mind right now, except for one last thing....<br />Anyone want to buy a house in North Battleford? I know of a good one.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-18277882269529645302008-04-15T10:34:00.002-06:002008-04-15T13:53:50.153-06:00The truth will set you free<div style="text-align: justify;">In recent conversation with a young man (same age as me) from the Baha'i "faith" and now in seeing Oprah's most recent "spiritual" endeavor, I need to air some thoughts because otherwise I will most certainly go insane.<br />Before any of this (for lack of a better term) 'new age' philosophy really started rolling through my mind I began to take part in "The Truth Project" with a small group from another church in town (for the purpose of checking it out to potentially use it in our church's small group ministry).<br />Normally I am slightly on guard when it comes to a mass production from Focus on the Family because of the tremendously conservative swing that they normally put on topics, which I don't necessarily agree with 100% with regards to culture and that sort of thing. But this Truth Project curriculum has really been catching my eye. Ultimately I respect organizations like Focus on the Family for their pursuit of holiness and their approach to family life in this messed up world. The Truth Project takes a look at the foundational truth of Scripture and essentially puts it under a microscope to test it against other philosophies and theologies that are out there. In the end it always comes down to Scripture being true, God being God, and all the other truths of Scripture.<br />So with all of this in the background of my mind recently, I received an e-mail after preaching a sermon on the beginning of relationships (Genesis 1-3) from a 25 year old guy who was in the service that morning, who is of the Baha'i tradition. It took a couple weeks for us to finally meet up, but we eventually did get the chance to sit down in a coffee shop and chat about religion. Essentially, it seems that he is some sort of Baha'i evangelist or something, not trying to "convince" me of anything, but rather trying to "reveal" the "real truth" to me.<br />If you don't know anything about the Baha'i faith, google it and read up on it, it's slightly interesting but incredibly inconsistent in fundamental beliefs, from what I have gathered (I'm certainly not an expert). This study has had me thinking on the cultural beliefs of this country/continent and of course then Oprah chimes in on the matter.<br />I received another e-mail of a youtube video of some weird thing that Oprah's book club has recently delved into. An online seminar or something like that from some dude's book about discovering how you're god or some crap like that.<br />This is not even close to being a new teaching, it's been heard over and over again for centuries. But what is it that draws 2 million people (likely only a small percentage in actually) towards viewing this kind of online seminar of becoming awakened or enlightened?<br />Why is it so easy to buy into something that leads one to the "all-knowing" power of self and so easy to reject beliefs that when actually understood (by a well known 'person' know as the Holy Spirit) not only make sense but provide answers to the seemingly unanswerable questions?<br />I suppose I'm coming at this from a biased perspective, it's admittedly difficult for me to come at this from any other perspective because I simply don't hold to them, and it simply doesn't make any sense to me.<br />Regardless of my perspective, what is it that draws a person to this belief that the ultimate realization that a person can reach is to discover the power of YOU.<br />Here's what I think, and it's almost anti-climactic if you ask me, but we like ourselves! I know you must be thinking "That was a real stroke of genius there chief." But ultimately I think that's why it's so easy for someone to buy into it, especially in a culture so saturated with greed. "If it means good for me, then I'm cool with that" is sort of the idea that surrounds us.<br /><br />I can understand why something like that is attractive, it elevates the person to a level of divinity that nobody besides Jesus can ever meet. It's this ancient beast that rages within people to try to replace God with themselves. Ancient because it can be found in the very first moment of sin on this planet, no matter what your view of the Genesis creation account may be, the simple fact of sin is undeniable and the essence of sin is to push God aside and to put self in that place. Beast because it's a nasty side of fallen humanity that will go to the greatest lengths to see itself thrive, even to the point of removing God from the personal equation.<br /><br />My problem with this whole philosophy of people being "god," is not only that people are desperately attempting to remove God, because that is most certainly the downfall of humanity, but that they are doing so with a ridiculous philosophy that doesn't do what they are hoping it will. It's a feel good thing....if I can try to legitimize my existence with anything, then I will feel good about myself, and that's what I need, to feel good.<br />Here's where I think this whole idea falls apart, no matter how you look at it, the attempt is deify humanity, but the result is a deplorable existence that accounts for no real answers to anything else in the world.<br />If humans are in fact "God", and God is merely a concept that has been created by humanity, then what of the problems all around the world? If humanity was some sort of greater power, why is the earth being rapidly destroyed by the plight of people?<br />If God is not actually a higher power, then there's not any greater cause to existence than merely existing, in fact you are limiting God by claiming divinity in humanity.<br />That's not a creative order that works very well at all.<br />Now, I have to admit, I don't know the whole story of the book in question, but it's not new philosophy, it's just reworded. And perhaps there's something in there that I'm missing on a deep level, but I doubt it.<br />People have so demoralized themselves that they don't see how destructive they are, it bothers me. It also causes me much heartache that others have no less than blamed the notion of "God" for all the problems in the world, shifting the blame from fallen humanity to the Creator of all things....wow. Then to think on how many levels this happens in minute details of life, even for those who are Christians, being changed by the grace of God, that's what bothers me.<br /><br />Then the question arises in my mind....who's out there to fight such "hollow and deceptive philosophy?" I think there are pastors and scholars who exist that will do so, which is great. What about 20 years from now when the same things arise again? Who will be around to combat such beliefs? I don't fear the downfall of Christianity because it's not going to happen, but I do fear the deception of many millions of minds because someone simply appeals to their desire for significance and leads them away from Truth.<br />Ultimately God doesn't need us, me, whatever. But He does use us, me, etc. He does choose to make the truth known through his people, so who will it be? Will it be me? My friends and colleagues now? Those who are younger than me?<br />You can very easily see from recent North American history that religion is being removed from society, but also that society as people are trying to make it, has a very dismal outlook and ideas that promote the deification of humanity simply contribute to this downward spiral.<br /><br />So what do we need? Well, essentially we need relief, we need to see the return of Christ, but that's his timing and we have no control over that. Ultimately there's not much we do have control of. But I think we need people to take responsibility for their generations. I think people who are of my age/generation need to wake up and perhaps realize that there's an urgency in forever, it doesn't give us license to relax, it gives us responsibility to act.<br /><br />perhaps this is all old news, stuff that people hear over and over again and I'm just way behind. Perhaps my own view of the situation is far from what really is the case, I don't know, I actually kinda hope that's the case, cause then many more people will realize that they need to step up.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-30402552105932161752008-02-21T11:39:00.003-06:002008-02-21T12:57:21.035-06:00Curiousity has got a hold on meI've had the opportunity to come across a couple different views and opinions of Christian leaders and organizations. I recognize that basically every person who represents Christ in a public way will come across some opposition, and some more than others. Honestly, reading different articles and comments makes curious as to why these types of things happen.<br />I do recognize that most of the time the most vocal and perhaps even merited opposition comes from Christian people who simply disagree. I don't question people's disagreement because everyone has slightly skewed beliefs, unfortunately we're not really able to be 100% correct on everything, nobody is. But what I do question is the motive behind the often harsh and poorly presented arguments.<br />Scripture does account for rebuking those who do not hold to sound doctrine and teach falsehood (Titus 1:9 and others) but were you to find every passage of scripture that refers to this sort of practice, they are surrounded by specific contexts (suprise) that must be considered. Such as the Titus verse to which I referred, Paul is addressing Titus on dealing with people in Crete and speaks of making sure elders hold to a standard so they are able to refute those who oppose sound doctrine. But elsewhere in Scripture you will find passages that speak directly to not judging people in such harsh ways unless you're ready to be judged in that same way (Matthew 7).<br />I'm not suggesting that people shouldn't be corrected, because they should, when in the wrong. I am, however, suggesting that people need to be careful how they go about trying to "correct, rebuke and encourage" (2 Tim. 4:2).<br />I suppose what bothers me most is when people do whatever they can to drag a person's name or reputation through the mud simply because they disagree on some point that was made, either because they didn't understand what was actually being said and heard something different or because they are in error themselves and honestly believe they are right.<br /><br />That being said, I recognize that I'm not always 100% correct. People have called me on things that I've said and I've been shown to be in error, the opposite has happened as well where someone has expressed their distaste for what I've said and they've been in error.<br />I simply struggle with the idea of openly, outwardly, and even publicly (whether in person or on the internet or other forms of media) refuting a person's teaching without wrestling with it yourself, weighing it against a sound biblical standpoint and without attempting to discuss it with that person in some way.<br />I suppose what my real problem is that those who will go on record as refuting a Christian leader because they disagree don't seem to make room for their own theological misinterpretations.<br />Yes we most certainly need to put weigh any Christian teaching against Scripture to see that it is correct, but I also think that one should attempt to do so without an arrogance and perhaps even ignorance in thinking with the "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality. Some teachers are really out to lunch, completely inaccurate Biblically, and just plain nuts. But those who are well known for their style of teaching and leadership, respected by evangelical pastors by the thousands, I think that a person needs to include those things in their thinking as well to be able to recognize if perhaps they are the one who is wrong, instead of the one they are attacking.<br /><br />Sound doctrine should be protected, no question. But is style of delivery necessarily a big issue?Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-78737146412564072152007-09-18T16:46:00.000-06:002007-09-18T17:06:30.475-06:00the times they are a changin'My good friend and colleague Bob Dylan wrote a song with the same title as that of this blog, and I'm not sure that it really has anything to do with this entry, but that's ok, because Bob Dylan isn't really my friend and colleague. But I can say with absolute clarity that it has been entirely too long since I've released the flow of brain juices onto this page and just let a few thoughts out. That may say one thing or many about what's been going on lately.<br />It may suggest that I've just been way too preoccupied with other forms of entertainment and life stuff to be able to continue on in the world of blogotry. But, it may also suggest that I just haven't had any thoughts rolling around this abnormally large head of mine.<br />I fear the latter may be more true than the former. I'm sure most people as they roll through periods of life may experience some lack of depth of thought, as a writer may experience that dreaded thing known to me as "writer's block".<br />Well, since I'm not really a writer, I can't be blocked from something I'm not, but I do feel as though my mind has not been as sharp lately as it has been in the past. It's as if there's a cloud over my head and rain falls wash away whatever may have been growing inside of my mind.<br />This may be attributed to more than one thing, but for the most part I think I'm just tired in the mental form of the word. My mind is exhausted, as are my heart and soul. There's a good explanation for that, I've cut myself off...<br />I have lazed about my days, lacking the discipline to return to a true 'comfort zone', where I learn and am fed by the God of all things. Many times I've taught and spoken the message that in order to not only maintain, but build a relationship with your Creator, you must spend time with Him. I think I've fallen prey to the predator of many in the pastoral profession, busy-ness.<br />Such is a pace that I have no desire to maintain or even support in my life. There are times of rest needed in everyone's life. When they are missed, they are dearly missed. And it's not meant to be a race of disproportionate means, running as hard as possible until you can no longer breathe, rather it is meant to be a steadied pace, with which anyone can keep up. Saving the energy for the final stretch, but keeping a constant speed to maintain a healthy heart rate.<br /><br />Going too hard until your body, mind, and soul are crushed under the weight of imbalance is in no way healthy and will destroy in the end. That's why people tire, fade, wain in their strength. I'm not to the point of no return yet, there's still time for me to carry too fast of a pace and too heavy of a burden for a while. But I don't want to, nor do I intend to.<br />I have come to a conclusion, that I need to be careful, with time and energy. With resources and availability, with what I put into everything, and with what I take from others.<br />It's all a matter of remaining steady at a maintainable pace, I think I need to slow down, just a bit.Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21409428.post-5013484255758254632007-07-18T15:56:00.001-06:002007-07-18T15:56:00.317-06:00Harvest Party '06<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/eZbL_1oBWT8' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/eZbL_1oBWT8'/></object></p><p>Ahhh, the memories!</p></div>Troyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07122749363141779076noreply@blogger.com1